After a good fifteen minutes of emotion-filled, but comfortable, silence, we realized the girls were completely down for the count. They needed time to rest off their mana drain. Thus, we decided to do a little scouting, just in case there was anything left. Letting the cousins rest, Vral, Ro-Saleh, Faye, and I made our way down the tunnel the rat king came from.

Whatever Tristan had done, hundreds of glowstones ignited, illuminating the space enough that we didn't need their light to navigate the tunnels. As we moved, we found dozens of piles of ash filling the tunnels. Like Faye had said, nothing was left alive after Tristan's spell. Most of the piles were bleeding away into motes of darkness, and many had small mound of crystals embedded in them. Three of us scooped up the money as we went.

After a dozen twists and turns, we arrived in a massive, foul-smelling, utterly filthy room. Bones of every shape and size literred the floors, and piles of shit and what I really hoped wasn't scraps of flesh were heaped in every corner.

Ro entered first. "Goddess..." He pulled out a scarf and tied it around his face. "I've been in skitterslink dens before, but this is something else."

Vral bumped into the back of his legs and gagged. "Dark Father's sour fucking taint..." She plugged her nose. "This is the worst thing I've ever smelled."

By the time the smell hit me, it was too late. I was swimming in the worst smell I'd ever smelled. It smelled like rotten watermelon, blood, and meat.

"It smells so ba—Urk!" That was all I could get out before a wave of bile cascaded up my throat. In that moment, I fought it. Dug deep. Pulled on my inner strength. Channeled everything I had. With every fiber of my being, I fought a heroic, noble, valiant battle against the urge to vomit...

I lost.

"It's grand, isn't it?" Faye brushed past my vomit pile and walked into the large room like she owned the place.

Wiping my lips, I saw that she'd procured what looked like a medieval gasmask from... somewhere. "H-h-how—" More bile. Couldn't speak.

"If you think this is bad, you won't like what comes next." Bones crunched under her feet as she walked.

"W-w-what... what comes... next..." I'd barely held down another wave of vomit as my echoed through the cavern. The thought of anything coming next nearly sent me over the edge.

The Hero looked back at me and, with the shit-eatingest grin I'd ever seen, said, "You three get to search through all this shit for treasure."

I lost the second battle of the day right then and there.

***

"It's not so bad once you get used to it." Vral was arms deep in a pile of blood-soaked fur. "Kind of reminds me of home."

"Your home was like this?" Ro asked as he waded through a sea of bones.

"I mean, it wasn't filthy or gross or anything. It was actually cozy. We had torches and glowstones, just like your civilized fuckers. But the damp air and the hint of mildew... That's home." Vral was smiling as she did her work. "I can't wait to take Alex and Tristan to Volkash. We'll find a friendly tribe and drink breskaya for days."

"No... breskaya..." I'd just managed to stop the nausea after picking through a bundle of what was definitely human bones. The memory of drinking that black shit goblins loved nearly sent me over the edge again.

Her head whipped around. "Yes, breskaya!" Those beautiful red eyes of hers narrowed on mine. "It's tradition!"

"Noooo..." I knew I sounded like a bitch. That was because, in this moment, I was being one. I had no shame.

"Don't be a wimp! It's just dead meat." My lover glared at me. "I thought you were unbreakable!"

"Obviously, his stomach isn't." Faye chuckled. "To be fair, it's not like we deal with this kind of stuff very often back home."

"What? He never clean an animal's guts or anything?" Vral snickered. "Baby. I've been doing that since I was cub."

"I have too," Ro said softly. "Killed and cleaned my first deer when I was five. Dad showed me how."

"I n-never..." I toed at a stack of bones. "Never did that..."

"This stuff isn't exactly normal back where we're from. Unless you're from the country, most of us never see a slaughtered animal in our whole life. It honestly took me a good decade before I stopped being fazed by it."

"Earth sounds like a paradise." Vral huffed. "Alex, take me to Earth. I want to go."

"Unfortunately, it's both a one-way trip and not as nice as it sounds." As she spoke, Faye knelt, fiddled with a mound of junk, stood back up, and began walking toward me. "Hey Ro, check this pile. I think something's in there."

"On it." Ro stood from his pile and moved to where she'd been standing.

"I don't care if there's no easy way to get to Earth," Vral said. "I wanna go." She pointed a filthy finger at me. "Find a way."

I swallowed some bile down. "I'll... try..."

Shaking her head, Faye walked up to me, held something fragrant in front of my nose, and said, "Open up, big boy."

"What is th—" The second my lips parted, she shoved a small, hard something into my mouth. I instant it hit my tongue, I felt relief. It tasted like peppermint and medicine. Despite the medicinal taste, it wasn't bad at all, and it made me feel so. much. better.

"Helps with the nausea." She chuckled. "Nom on it for a while. It'll make it better."

I sucked on the thing. Besides the taste, it had the consistency of a jolly rancher. "Thanks." The relief was almost instant.

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Placing a handful more of the hard things into my hand, she laughed and said, "I was just like you when I was green. Honestly, probably worse. You have my sympathy, friend."

Vral's eyes narrowed on us. Her lips parted, and she sneered as she spoke: "Excuse me, little miss Hero. That big boy of yours is already taken by two hot-ass bitches, and we're not taking in any strays right now. Back the fuck off."

The Hero's lips quirked, then split into a wide grin. A second later, Faye was practically cackling at the little goblin. "Vral, you have absolutely nothing to worry about from me." Her green eyes flicked to her, then back to me, sizing me up. "He's a handsome guy. And not just that. Sweet. Has a big heart. Big muscles. And I wont lie: He's got a lot of what most women want. But he's not my type. Not at all. I'm not into teddy bears."

"Hey!" I was feeling much, much better. She didn't have to knock me back down a peg in my moment of triumph. "I'm not a teddy bear!"

"You very much are, my friend. The hardest you could ever get is cuddleable, and the darkest you could get is off white." She patted my chest. "After watching you down here, any worries I might have had have been completely assuaged. You're harmless."

"Harmless?!" Vral shouted. "He's the fucking Hero of the Pit! The Iron Sentinel! You should have seen him kick my ass! He's a badass!" She sputtered for a moment, then continued, "Are you saying my man isn't a catch?!"

"I didn't say that." Faye held up her hands. "Not at all. I'm sure he's quite wonderful."

"Wonderful?!" Vral's red eyes were glowing on the far side of the cave. "What are you trying to say, huh?" Vral's daggers had appeared in her hands at some point. "I want to hear it straight!"

"I can tell he's a good man." Faye put a hand on my shoulder. "And I'm confident he has a role to play in this world. He's just not my type."

Faye's words deflated Vral a bit. But only a bit. "What's your type, then, huh?" She wiggled a dagger an inch from Faye's liver.

When had Vral gotten so close? "Vral, rela—"

"Shush. Us girls are talking." She waved her dagger at my face, then pointed at Faye again. "What's your type, girlie."

"My type?" Faye thumbed her chin. "I haven't though of it in a hundred years or so... but I guess..." She cocked her head. "... I guess I prefer 'em dark, deep, and moody."

I worked the candy-medicine she'd given me with my tongue. So much better. "Yeah, that's definitely not me." I gestured at myself. "I'm light, dumb, and easygoing." For the first time, I looked her over that way. I hadn't really thought of the Hero as anything other than, well, the Hero, but for the first time, I was looking at her like she was a woman. While she was definitely pretty, she wasn't exactly Tristan or Vral level. She was fit, with a tight, athletic body and rocking, muscular arms, and she certainly had a pleasant face... but... she was just... so... sisterish. "We definitely aren't a fit."

"See?" Faye shrugged. "Negative chemistry here."

Vral looked at us both. "Yeah, now that I'm here, I don't see it at all. Not sure what I was worried about."

Faye pointed at me. "He's like a brother, but not an asshole brother." She laughed. "It's nice. I can't say that about my real one."

Vral sheathed her daggers. "Good. When we meet our fourth, she'd better love him as much as I do. Otherwise..." She left the rest of the sentence unsaid. Redirecting, she asked, "Bad boys, huh?" Vral shook her head at Faye. "That's dumb. You're dumb."

"Well, one bad boy, really." Faye chuckled. "And yeah, I never claimed to be smart."

That made my heart soar. "You and me both, Faye."

Vral snorted and looked the Hero over. "This mystery man of yours beat you down yet? If not, figure that shit out. Life's short." Vral grabbed my hip. "I can definitely say that it's worth it on the other side. The things he does to me... He can just pick me up, throw me around, and do what he wants. So good."

Faye blushed. "Well, in terms of beat downs, we're two to one, him and me. I figured, the next time we fight, we'll hash it out."

"The fuck you still testing him for?" Vral rolled her eyes. "You dumb ass human women. A woman's job is to test her man. Once he beats you down, that's that. You figured it out. It's time for the next part of life."

Rubbing her forehead, Faye said, "I suppose I like a good project. I can fix him and all that. Is that wrong?"

"Fix him? The fuck you fixing a man for? He's there to fix you." She poked a finger into Faye's stomach. "Us women are wild. Men're here to tame us."

Shrugging, Faye muttered, "I guess I'm hopeless."

"Fucking loser. Get your shit straight."

Before Faye could respond, Ro called out from across the cave. "I found something!" He'd been digging where Faye had been standing.

"Would you look at that. Perfect timing." Faye marched toward Ro.

Vral looked at me, leaned close, and whispered, "Once we're out of here and bathed up, let's pound one out for her, yeah? She needs it."

Fuck. Yes. "Let's."

"Good boy." She smacked my ass and sauntered over to Ro and bent over whatever it was he found.

Following, once I got to them, I saw that he'd uncovered a small chest. "Can you open it?"

"No." He nodded to Vral. "But she can."

"You don't know me!" Despite her words, Vral pulled out some lockpicks and pushed him aside. "But yeah, I got this. Step back, losers, and watch a master do her craft." A couple second of lockpicking later, the latch clicked, and the lid swung open. Inside, a mound of crystals, a couple vials of liquid, and a small charm were glinting in the glowstone light.

"Would you look at that!" Faye pointed at the vials. "What a crazy, random happenstance! Elixirs, and really good ones! Those'll restore the girls in no time!" She looked at each of us. "Who would have thought we'd find something like this down here?"

The three of us turned our heads toward Faye. She wasn't fooling anyone.

"Miss hero..." Ro started. "I don't think potions of this quality could ever end up down in a low-level dungeon like—"

"Girlie, are you really trying to say that something like this could—"

"She's right!" I stepped forward. She'd obviously planted the items, but she didn't want to admit it, so I came to the Hero's defence. "What a good turn!" Reaching down, I picked up the chest, pulled one of the potions out, and held it up to the glowstone light. It was purple, and it sparkled more than the milky way. "Are you saying these'll restore the girls?"

"Y-yeah!" Faye was a terrible actor. "They'll fix them up in no time."

"Alex, you don't really—"

I held my hand up in Vral's face. "Damn, we're lucky."

Faye beamed. "I'm so glad everything boiled out this way. Otherwise, you lot would have to retreat, and then, what? We'd have to wait another week to fight the Beast of the Bowels? And this Dorit woman would have to go another week without being saved? That would have been a tragedy. A real tragedy, I say."

"It would have been," I added. "And since the Hero can't directly help us," I said pointedly, "it would have been especially sad if we couldn't have continued. What a lucky turn of events we've experienced." I looked at Vral, then Ro, making it as clear as possible that they should let it go.

"Only you're fighting the Beast..." Vral muttered, seemingly not getting it.

Faye shuffled, her eyes avoiding everyone else's. "Oh yeah! Heh, that's right. I'm not with my party, but—"

"I still don't think it's normal to find potions like that in a dungeon like this." Ro was stroking his chin. "So curious..."

"Stranger things have happened in dungeons before!" Faye was sweating heavily now.

"Come on, team. Let's get back to the girls. No use in overthinking our luck." I turned on my heel and exited the stinky cave.

"Wait up!" Vral chirped and appeared next to me.

"Yeah, no use in overthinking the Goddess's will." Ro's footsteps locked in behind mine.

"Phew..." Faye exhaled and followed.

After a minute of following the others through the tunnels, I heard words echoing in my mind.

Thanks, chosen buddy. I'm really not supposed to interfere in the affairs of mortals... no matter how much I want to... but I just... can't... not. You know?

I'd always had to respond out loud thus far. But if she could do it, so could I... I focused until sweat appeared on my brow... said words in my head until... until...I've got your back, Hero buddy. I could feel that my words had transferred to her mind. With a self-satisfied grin, I turned gave her a thumbs up.

She nodded and gave me her thumb back. It's been a long time since I've had a new friend. Thank you.

In that moment, I realized we actually were becoming friends. Anytime, Hero friend. I've got your back.

She smiled. And I have yours.

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