"Why don't we make this more interesting, hmm?" Aerell pressed herself to my chest, that sleazy smile of hers hiding the maliciousness beneath. Running her fingers along my chin, she slowly worked lower until she reached my collar. "Did you really think you could escape me?"

I tried to push her back, but my hands wouldn't move. Looking down, I saw she'd chained my wrists to my cell's wall. With no way to escape, I kept breathing as steadily as I could, doing my best to keep the terror in my heart hidden. "You're dead. We killed you."

"You certainly tried to."

"No!" I strained against the bonds, but they held fast. "I felt you die!"

With a wicked cackle, the blonde grinned, running her tongue over her cracked tooth as she did. Leaning into me, her lips brushed up my jaw until her breath was hot in my ear. "Did you truly want to be free of me so badly?"

Every hair on my body stood on end. "I didn't want you to hurt anyone else!"

Nibbling my earlobe, she whispered, "Why would I bother with anyone else when I can focus on you?"

"Why me?" My voice was shaking.

When her lips parted and she spoke, her voice wasn't hers any longer. "YOU WOULD DO MORE. AND YOU WILL LEAD OTHERS TO ME."

Thrashing, I threw the woman off my neck and screamed for someone, anyone, to help. As my screams echoed off the stone walls, the world shifted. A moment later, I was somewhere else.

***

Sitting atop a black throne, looking out over all of Istaera, I watched as my people tended my lands. I'd brought peace to my kingdom. Security. Prosperity. All who had stood against me, who'd doubted me, had long since been put to the sword. Unfortunately, sacrifices had to be made. Tristan had opposed my rule. She'd gathered others to resist me, called me a tyrant.

It hurt my heart, but once I'd taken her head, the resistance against me crumbled. Only then did my kingdom unify. Become whole.

"Majesty..." Vral, who was sitting on the floor in front of my throne in nothing more than a tiny, sheer dress, gazed up at me, her eyes filled with complete devotion. "May I accompany you to bed tonight?"

I reached down and petted the head of my little pet. She'd been so obedient after her training. She'd nearly betrayed me after Tristan's death. Thought she'd get vengeance until I talked her down. To prevent further dissent, I'd been forced to break her with the collar. "Tonight is her night." Nodding to the smaller throne that sat beside mine, I added, "You'll sleep on the floor."

"But—"

"Do you question the will of your king?" I hated to do it, but if her old rebelliousness was returning...

"No!" She screamed. "Of course not!" She grabbed at my knees. "I would never!"

"Do not be so harsh, husband." The woman who sat on the throne beside me said, her voice soft but commanding. "She only wishes to receive your love."

Love. I loved all who lived in my lands. Everything I did, I did for them. "You're right, my love." I reached out and took her hand in mine. "Thank you."

"There is nothing to thank. I simply know your heart." She squeezed my hand.

Looking toward my wife, the radiant queen of Istaera, I frowned as I took her in. Her dress, white and gold and purple, cut from the finest cloth and fitted by the best of tailors, hugged every inch of her supple body.

But...

What was her name? And why couldn't I see her face?

"Is something wrong, my lord?"

I could feel her looking at me, could feel the concern, but I couldn't see it. "I..." I squinted, then blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. Still, I couldn't see her face. "What's happening..."

The world bent around me again, and I was gone.

***

Nothing. Endless nothing. A perfect, black void with nothing in it but me and the chair I was chained to.

WAS THAT DREAM SATISFACTORY?

My breath caught. He'd invaded my dreams once again. "No! I would never want that!"

THEN TELL ME WHAT YOU LONG FOR. LET ME GIVE IT TO YOU.

My body shook as the Dark Lord spoke. "I want nothing from you, asshole."

YOU WILL.

"Fuck you." All I wanted was sleep. "Go bother someone else. Let me sleep."

I AM PATIENT.

My blood boiled, and I started to feel that rage again. Black and unrestrained. Unbounded.

Then, the world bent, and I was falling... falling... until...

***

I gasped. Shot upright in our bed. A cold sweat covered every inch of my skin. My heart was pounding. My lungs burned. Had I been breathing?

"... I don't want any more rat stew..." Vral mumbled beside me. The goblin scratched her belly, pulling her coarse shift nearly up over her hips.

My eyes lingered for a moment before I pulled the blanket over her. Then, looking past the little goblin, I saw that Tristan was breathing softly, still fast asleep.

I was glad she was. I hated waking them up. I'd gotten good at hiding my weekly nightmares.

Slipping out of bed, I threw my pants on and tied the drawstring, then headed toward the double doors that led to our balcony. Opening them as softly as I could, I slipped out onto the little patio that overlooked the southern half of Khozad'Thar, where I could just make out the stairs that led to what used to be the Pit. Now, it was a temple to the Goddess.

With a deep breath, I inhaled the cool, slightly stale air and tried to calm my racing heart. "Focus..." I said to myself, trying to pull back the lessons Lady Varga taught me what felt like a lifetime ago. After several minutes of deep breathing and meditation, my heart calmed down enough for me not to feel so panicked. When I was confident I was okay, I opened my eyes and looked out at the city around me.

Standing tall in the massive cavern, the large stalactite structures that made up the bulk of the buildings in Khozad'Thar stood tall in the dim glowstone light, looking a lot like giants that stood watch over the tiny moving ants that were actually people far below. The buildings always looked so unbothered by our little lives. I wondered if they'd even notice if we vanished one day?

I watched as the people went about their business. The market was bustling, so it had to be morning now, or close to it. The shouts and laughs and haggling just barely drifted up to our balcony, barely audible over the soft whooshing of the light wind that always seemed to permeate the city. I'd asked once how there could be wind in a cavern, but the only answer I received was that it was the Goddess's will, whatever that meant.

"Hey," I heard Tristan's voice behind me.

Taking a deep breath, I turned and took her in. She was wearing a loose, sleeveless white nightshirt that hung loose around her shoulders and showed off all those muscles she'd worked hard to develop. All those months of training certainly paid off. She was gorgeous. "Morning."

Walking up next to me and putting her hands on the balcony railing, her sapphire eyes gazed down at the city below. "It's early."

"Yeah. Figured I'd get an early start today."

Without looking at me, she placed her hand on mine. "Want to talk about it?"

If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.

Turning my hand over and weaving my fingers through hers, I said, "Not really."

She smiled. "That's even more reason to do so."

I sighed. Tristan had always been far more wise than I was, and a million times more emotionally intelligent, but I'd quickly learned that her wisdom had grown immensely in the months we were apart. When I asked how she got so sagacious, she said that she read as much as she could to distract herself from the guilt and fear she felt when I disappeared.

"I've..." I took another deep breath. "I've been having dreams."

Her eyes danced in Khozad'Thar's dim light. "What kind of dreams?"

"The bad kind."

Looking away from the city, she gestured for me to sit on our patio's love seat. When I did, she joined me. "You went through a lot. Both of you did."

"I feel like it should be past me now. I don't get why I can't shake it off."

She squeezed my hand. "You don't just shake experiences like that off, Alex. It's going to be with you for a while."

I shook my head. "I don't want it to be."

That made her chuckle. "No one wants to carry pain."

"I should be stronger than this." I looked at the ground and let the bad feelings wash over me. "I should be better. I need to be!" My voice got louder than I meant for it to.

She let me calm down before speaking. "Why are you so hard on yourself?"

It was simple. "I can't let something like this ever happen again. To me, to you, to Vral. To any of our friends. I need to protect everyone. I need to be stronger. I need—"

"Don't do that." She reached out and pulled my chin toward her, forcing me to meet her eyes. "Don't."

She'd said those words to me before. "Do what?"

Her smile was sad. I could see her own guilt in them. "You can't carry the world on your shoulders."

I laughed. "Watch me."

That made her chuckle. "They're nice, broad shoulders, Alex, but they're still just a man's. You're not to blame if bad things happen to people sometimes. You're only human. You're not responsible for everyone."

"I am, though." I took a breath. "The Goddess made me a Guardian. It's my job. My path. My duty!" My voice was getting loud again. "What am I good for if I can't even protect people?"

She took my hands in hers again. "You have value beyond what you do for others."

"But what if—"

"And you're loved for who you are."

"But—"

"You're a great man, Alex. You really are. That's why I'm so grateful it ended up being you." Lifting my hands to her lips, she kissed each knuckle before continuing. "You're passionate and hardworking and loyal. And you're so, so strong. I admire you more than you'll ever know." Placing my hands in her lap, she continued, "But you are just a man. One who's going to do amazing things with his time in this world, but a man all the same." She searched my face. "It's good to want to make the world better. Admirable. But you can't take on all the world's problems as your own. No one person could. It's on all of us to work together to make that better world."

She was making sense, as much as I hated to admit it. "But what if I can't protect you next time? What if something happens to you, or to Vral?" The thought made my stomach queasy.

"We won't slack. We're going to get stronger, and we're going to get smarter, and we're going to try our best. But that's all we can do. Beyond preparing, all we can do is have faith that things will work out. And if they don't, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

I didn't want to wait. I wanted to be ready now. "I don't like it."

"You don't have to. No one can make you feel anything you don't want to feel. But it's how it is, whether you like it or not." She squeezed my hands. "We aren't gods. We can't see the future. All we can do is prepare, train, and have faith. Love one another. Make the most of our lives. Be there for one another, today, tomorrow, and always. That's it."

My stomach was still in knots. "I do love you. And I always want to be there for you. That's why I need to get stronger. So we can live that life together."

"We'll get stronger. Not just you. Together, we'll make sure we live a long time and become as happy as we can be in this life."

I liked that sound of that. We. It made the knots in my stomach unravel a little. "Okay."

"Good boy." She nuzzled my palm with her cheek. "So just get it through that thick skull of yours: we love you, too. More than you'll ever know."

Wait. "We?"

Tristan smiled softly, her eyes twinkling. "Do you not know?"

"Know what?"

"Vral loves you, Alex."

I mean, I knew we were feeling things, but... love? "She does?"

She leaned closer. "She's crazy about you. You're the only person who ever took a chance on her. Who stuck his neck out for her. You're her hero."

That made my heart clench. "I had no idea." Looking in her sapphire eyes, I realized I was feeling guilty. I didn't exactly want to talk about it, but now was as good a time as any. "That doesn't bother you?"

"Not at all." She pressed her hand to my heart. "I may only be a quarter, but elven blood runs strong in these veins."

"I don't understand."

She pointed at herself. "I'm your mirán. Your heart-given. I reached the change, or nimraïs, because of you. Transitioned from mithlgalen, a silver leaf, to elgalen, a golden leaf, through the heat from your fire."

So romantic! "And what does it mean? To be mirán?"

"It means I'll go where you go, and I'll love who you love." She leaned forward and kissed me again. "And it means that I'm yours, forever and always."

"What am I, then? In your culture?"

Pointing at me, she said, "You're my aranán. My heart bearer. It's your shade that allows the ones you love to grow strong."

Finally! I've been wanting to understand all this stuff. Not that heart bearer meant that much, but still. I was kind of getting it. "How did you know? Did you choose, or...?"

She laughed. "No. I didn't choose."

"How, then? Was it my irresistible charm?"

Rolling her eyes, she said, "No. It wasn't that either. The second I met you, I knew. It was like a wave rippled through me when I touched you. But, with you being all unconscious and nearly dead, I thought I might have been mistaken. It wasn't exactly like I'd experienced it before, so I didn't know any better."

"What made you sure?"

"Oh, besides Na-Ya picking on me endlessly about it and telling me all about the joys of love and companionship and amazing sex, the night you woke up and I went to heal you, I felt it again. After that, I tried to deny it to myself, but my body started changing, and I went from an androgynous stick to the radiant woman you see sitting in front of you right now, and that was that." She grinned. I like it when she grinned. "I have to say, too, as much as past Tristan dreaded it, now that I'm used to this body of mine, I can't say I dislike the change you induced. As Vral would say, I'm pretty hot."

"Incredibly hot."

"Flatterer." She giggled.

"So, like..." How to ask. "Could you have ended up being a guy if things had been different?"

She snorted. "Thank the Goddess I didn't."

"So it was possible?"

She nodded. "Kind of. Our bodies seem to know what we'd be most comfortable with, so that's what we get. One story is that it's about which parent we're more attached to as children, but some people think it might be more about our wants and experiences manifesting in our second adulthood. Either way, I always knew I'd be a girl. I'm a total momma's girl."

I exhaled. "I'm so glad. That would have been hard. No shame to anyone, but I'm not into boys."

"Says the guy who mistook me for one and still had all those romantic dreams about me."

"Hey!" That made me blush. "Obviously, deep down, I knew."

"Mhmm."

We looked at one another and laughed. Then, when we fell into a comfortable silence, another question came to me. "So, Vral loves me?"

"Yeah, and it's driving me nuts."

"Why?!"

"All day, every day, all I feel through our roots is how much she's holding in. She wants to talk to you, to express herself to you, but she doesn't know how. So she bottles it up, and then..." She blushed, "Then, through our bond, I can't help but feel both of our feelings." Her tone lightened, and she giggled at her own words. "And yours, too."

These roots of hers were more real than I realized. "I'm happy she feels that way, but... What does that mean? Feeling all of our feelings?"

Her blush got deeper. "I'm not the only one whose soul got set ablaze by you."

"Tristan." I laughed. "I'm dumb, remember? Explain like I'm five."

She leaned forward and kissed me. "While I'm incredibly attracted to you, Mr. Hero, I've also been feeling all of the built-up attraction you two have for one another. Especially her." She kissed me again. "You're a little dense and slow to feel things, but her? She's an inferno. And, since her flames have nowhere to go, I've been burning up for her."

"Sorry."

"Oh, don't be. I'm loving all the hard work you've been putting in." Her voice was husky. "But damn is it distracting. All I can think about is jumping on you these days."

I shrugged. "So, what then? What do we do?"

"Talk to each other. See what happens. Then, I'll do the same."

"Why?"

"You think it'll only be you who loves her back?"

"Ah. Hot."

She laughed. "I'm sure you think so."

I shrugged. "It's not like we have that much time right now, though. We're working a lot, and we have a quest to complete."

She shook her head. "So? There are other escorts, and the quest will happen when it happens. Plus, you two haven't stopped after everything you went through. Me neither, for that matter. I did help resolve a whole ass war after all. I think we should all take a break."

"But—"

"What we've been doing hasn't worked. So, why don't we take all that money we've made and take some time off? It couldn't hurt anything, and we'd all have time to bond more. Then, if you two decide to stop being giant babies, you can get on with it. Otherwise, I'll end up in horny jail, and soon."

Laughing, I said, "Yeah, even I'm gassing out. You've been insatiable."

She patted my shoulder. "You better not say that. You've got an inferno to tame, and I have my needs, too. Not only that, but if what Greta says is true, which it likely is, we'll end up with another mirán sooner or later. Hopefully, you'll get better at talking things out by then, because if you don't, I may end up breaking your hips."

She was quite vigorous... "I'll do my best. I promise."

"You always do." Kissing me one last time, she said, "So, are we taking a break, oh fearless leader?"

I nodded. "Yeah. That sounds nice."

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.