We were back in the bland conference room. That was never a good sign. I looked to my left and found Angelica sitting next to me. She didn't look any more pleased to be here than I was. Spine was on my right. He spun around in his chair.

"We are starting to spend a lot of time here," The goblin said, before grabbing the table and spinning his chair again. He rotated about two and a half times before jumping out of his chair, "Doom Bitch!"

Marge stepped into view from behind me. She pulled the oversized blunt out of her mouth. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am terrifying." She plopped down in a chair next to Spine, "This is gonna be funny."

"Why didn't you crash into the wall?" Lindsey and Brandon did when I spun like Spine was.

Marge took a massive hit from her joint. "This isn't my first rodeo." She explained exhaling a cloud of smoke. She pulled a tub of popcorn out of her pocket. Ignore the fact it couldn't fit in there. She then pulled a huge bag of gummy bears out and a large drink after that. She put them all on the table.

"How steep is the learning curve for rodeos?" Spine asked.

"No one cares," Wilson declared, wheeling a TV on a cart into the room. He had appeared where I wasn't looking, the dick.

"What new indignity is this?" I asked Wilson.

He beamed at me truly proud of himself, "Picture this. A dramatic retelling of your story, in the most elevated form, Musical Theater."

I just sat there stunned for a good thirty seconds.

Angelica was quicker to respond, "Oh, god dammit, this again?"

"Yes Angel, I know you had thoughts for Technacoast on Ice. I took careful notes and then ignored all of them and did whatever the hell I wanted. Prepare yourself for 'Break the Dungeon: The Musical!'" Wilson declared that last bit like a carnival barker.

"EEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeee!" Denise cheered, clapping. She had appeared behind me as is Narrator tradition. When she realized I was glaring at her she paled, "Don't get mad at me, musicals are fun."

"No they aren't, you worthless stooge," Lindsey spat venomously.

Upon hearing her voice I spun my chair. Lindsey was already in the room, but Brandon crashed onto the table and rolled. He fell off and hit the floor landing badly. "I'm okay."

"No one cares," Grace said flatly. She sat in a chair. "Get this going Wilson, I want to see the songs."

"What is THIS?" I asked loudly. The Narrators seemed mostly happy so it couldn't be good.

"The finest highbrow, high racism, art!" Wilson proclaimed.

"Wait! What?" Spine asked.

"Highbrow refers to Phrenology," Wilson explained, "You people always end up measuring heads."

"So you're saying musicals are racist?" I asked.

"I was accusing earthlings of being racist, but sure. Musicals are racist. I have no respect for your culture anyways," He then hit play.

The screen flashed and then a wide shot of a frozen landscape. It then panned over to reveal Adora and Aella. Adora was wearing a long flowing golden dress that matched her current hairdo. Aella was her standard shadowy silhouette. She seemed to be wearing a swim suit and a pool wrap skirt. I didn't ask why they weren't cold because they are superpowered weirdos.

"Why are they here?" I asked, immediately losing patience.

"Aella and Adora are a common framing device, they usually set up stories for the audience, they are like a Greek choir. Though most of the time it is a role people play." Angelica explained.

Brandon shushed us.

"Shut up Brandon, there's a movie playing," I said as Aella and Adora were talking about how the world was actually fairly peaceful and all was swell.

"Yeah shuddup!" Marge hissed, throwing popcorn at Brandon.

"-and that is when the sixth titan spawn appeared." Adora proclaimed. She then leaned in conspiratorially, "Although between you and me I worry. I mean the guy, named himself Doug."

"He also doesn't know how food works," Aella added.

This led into a jazzy music number. If I had to guess the title of the song, it would be 'Doug, the big dumb thug, who turns big cats into rugs'. Maybe that was the bridge. I don't know song structure.

On the screen was a naked man on stilts killing cats.

"Couldn't find someone tall enough?" I asked.

"We had a limited budget," Wilson admitted. "Besides this guy, really captured your essence."

The man on stilts shouted, "What the fuck is happening? Where the hell am I? Why don't I have pants? Die you stupid cat! I hate Snow Lions!"

"I see it," Spine said. He tossed one of Marge's gummy bears into his mouth.

It could be worse, I thought.

Aella and Adora were back after stilt man was done murdering snow lions.

Aella exposited for a moment, "Our hero met with Nadia the All-Death. We don't know what happened between them…"

"You don't know what Nadia told me?" I asked Wilson.

"Of course we know, but frankly their nihilism is kinda boring," Wilson said.

"And anyone who tries to depict Nadia is killed… by Nadia," Angelica pointed out.

"... that is when Zach showed up," Aella declared. She then stuck her finger in her mouth and pretended to gag. "But seriously let's give it up for Thunder Love!"

With a crackle of lighting and a rumble of thunder a man with long hair wearing a torn denim vest was lowered into view on a cloud. The music hit a moment later. It was a meatloaf inspired rock anthem. It was the basic explanation I got between Zach and Nadia. In musical form.

"This guy is good," Spine said, snagging another gummy bear.

"The guy is a legend," Angelica told him, "He used to adventure with Nadia. They were the first to clear an open dungeon.

"We sent out a casting call to the afterlife, I am amazed we got him too." Marge said. She tossed a gummy bear in her mouth, " How many of those have you had?"

Spine tossed a third gummy bear into his mouth, "Three?"

Marge laughed, "You maniac. Have fun with that."

"Is he going to be okay," I asked. I didn't do a good job supervising.

"Yeah, continuity will protect him," Marge said, tossing several more gummies into her mouth.

Spine's pupils dilated. He kept watching the movie.

Zach as portrayed by Thunder Love wrapped up his song, "In the wastes you find your chance. You must master power's dance, but first, put, on, these, pants!"

From there things followed the same path that reality did. Zach lost his shit when he found out my class wasn't Cosmic Assassin. He then tried to strong arm me into following his orders. That was when the Titan stepped in. They achieved that by having the lights flicker and the camera shake as a voice thundered.

"Was that Keith David?" I asked.

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"Who?" Angelica asked.

Keith David," I said again.

"Repeating the name doesn't tell me who they are," She replied.

"He was in a lot of movies and tv shows," I explained badly.

Spine saved me from myself, "look."

I looked at the screen and "What the hell is this?"

Spine cackled, "They painted a short guy green"

"Hit pause," I demanded.

Denise paused the video. The other Narrators booed this.

"What the hell is that?" I asked, pointing at the screen.

"I think it's me," Spine said.

"The kid gets it and he is high, keep up tons of fun," Lindsey snapped.

"He wasn't there. We didn't meet him until after the dungeon," I pointed out.

"Focus groups believed it best to get you with a travel companion as soon as possible." Denise said.

"I am literally about to meet Angelica," I pointed out.

Everyone was quiet for a beat.

"They are going to claim people don't like me," Angelica said.

"They don't," Brandon said, almost apologetically.

"Brandon, you are not people. Shut up, jackass" I cut in.

Wilson hit play. It didn't take long for my and Spine's doppelgangers to encounter… a jacked guy, in winter survival gear holding a spear.

"Who the hell is that guy?" I demanded.

The guy on screen then announced, "I am Angelica De Leon, hero of the Fantasy coast."

"That is Butch Deadlift. They cast him to play me. He does the stunts well," Angelica explained.

We then had our big fight with the Pride of Snow Lions. Angelica was right that Butch fella could really do stunts. Also they showed a bunch of snow lions being murdered. It is really hard to hate on quality content like that. One of them even exploded in a wave of lightning and gore. The budget may have been limited but they knew how to use it.

From there we had the discovery of the burned down goblin village. The guy they had playing Spine had a song about monsters in the night. It almost sounded like something Voltaire would come up with. It was a good song but I knew what came next, and began to flinch internally.

Spine reached for another gummy bear, I slapped it out his hand. He blinked at me, "What are you worried about?"

"This next bit isn't really kid friendly," I said.

"Compared to the gory violence or seeing your dick?" Spine asked.

Shit this whole situation is fucked, "Let's be clear, you saw the actors dick not mine, and your probably too young to be watching this stuff."

Spine shrugged, "Okay." He turned his chair around. He then held a hand up and Marge placed a fist full of the gummy bears into it.

I hated that.

"Pick your battles," Angelica advised.

And we were in Adora's damn cabin. I wasn't looking forward to this. The guy playing Spine announced he was going to sleep in the barn, for reasons. That left not-me and not-Angelica alone together.

"I have a secret I must tell you," Butch Deadlift announced. The lights blinked and the muscular dude with a five o'clock shadow was replaced with a short lady with long black hair and pale skin.

"Is that how you guys are going to portray Celeste?" I asked.

"Yes. the actress is a quarter Korean and the rest Anglo-Saxan via North America, just like Celeste." Denise said, checking her phone.

"Celeste is an army brat, according to her," Angelica said.

"Oh, was she born in Korea," I asked.

"Germany," Angelica answered. She smiled, "Celeste likes to see that look on peoples faces." Angelica Winked and her open eye flashed with the light of Celeste's power.

"Are you guys even watching the film?" Denise asked.

"No!" Spine said loudly. He then popped another gummy bear into his mouth.

Rather than what actually happened, the film showed Not-Celeste and Not-me just sort of awkwarding around each other for a long time. Then Adora gently made little changes to things that resulted in the actors rather quickly falling in love. Adora was singing " Just a little push. Just a tiny shove. Stumble in a feeling, then fall in love." The film was portraying things like Celeste and I were hapless fools, who needed Adora to help us.

That was so offensive. Holy shit.

Adora looked into the camera as the scene faded to black. It was like she locked eyes with me, "And that is exactly how it happened."

Wilson grinned.

I let it go. Besides, they were going to mess with us more. In the immediate future. Next was the fight with Mina. She was tortured and possessed. I watched the fight. From the outside with thrilling music it looked… cool. It wasn't. It was Angelica, Celeste, and me having to kill a poor woman to free her from the control of a terrible monster. Maybe it was a demon…

This didn't show our arbitration session with Wilson and Paul. it just showed me punching the gaunt figure to death. The body began to shorten and transform back to that of a person.

"Spine," I said again.

Spine spun his chair around, 'I didn't see the naked lady."

I strongly suspected he saw something, subtle clues and all.

I'll admit that moment was traumatic. For a lot of reasons. Honestly even now I doubted that I had really processed it. The only reason I could even help Mina, by killing her to free her from that damn thing's control, was because she had looked me in the eyes and begged me to do it. If her soul hadn't thanked me after I would have spiralled.

It wasn't surprising to see that Wilson had directed things differently. Mina's soul rose up and was immediately surrounded by dozens of other spectres. The ones I recognized were people from the Titan's past. They formed a choir and began to sing condemnations of Angelica and me. They got into a lot of specifics but the chorus was, "You're a murderer. You murdered her." it repeated over and over. Maybe a little simple but it was a well aimed jab at emotions.

Eventually Spine's actor pointed us down a tunnel. That led us into the Dungeon of the Snow Lions. Again not even close to how that happened.

"Why isn't Brand here?" I asked as we met the actor portraying him.

"He's right there," Brandon said, pointing at the screen.

"That's an actor Brandon," Denise informed him. "When they are on this side of the screen they are people."

"He's not here, because he doesn't need to be. He has no Narrator backing," Wilson said to me. He then turned to Denise and Brandon, "People isn't a distinction that matters to us."

Brand didn't sing a song instead Aella sang a song similar to but legally distinct to one of the intro sequences to a bond film. The title of it seemed to be 'Lyin eyes'

From there things got into the clearing of the dungeon. No, mention of the retcon undoing my death.

"Huh," Angelica said after our characters beat the Megaleo.

"What's up?" Spine asked.

"The guy playing Doug isn't ever singing." She pointed out.

"We tried it, but it didn't work well. It felt off." Denise said.

"I can sing," I said.

"Can you sing well?" Angelica asked.

"I can sing, mostly in church and the shower," I insisted. That was a lot of words for no.

They got the broadstroke down pretty well. They literally played Dueling Fates during our fight with the Cait Sith. It fit pretty well with the laser claws. They also got our frantic dash to the final boss right from an emotional stand point.

"FUCK!" the guy playing me shouted as he almost went over the side of the spire. It wasn't a broad range of emotions. But they were very genuine. Our clash with Rebecca the priestess the Grond went a little different. In the film I killed The Mother of Snow Lions no fuss, no muss. Then I tagged Rebecca with the Vitae and threw her to the lions. There was a lot of screaming. That was quite different from Brand killing her when she wouldn't surrender.

That's when Grond hit the scene. The obnoxious noise of limpbizkit style rap-rock preceded his entry. He took out Brand first. Then the battle between Celeste and Grond happened. It was a lot more action and a lot less being ripped apart while desperately trying to help Celeste. There was one pretty cool sequence when Celeste was about to impale Grond. They did a slow motion 360 of the moment. Then they showed Grond getting impaled a lot.

To be completely honest, that was a pretty hype moment.

In the end though this movie played out just like it did in real life. Celeste couldn't kill Grond in his domain, and she ran out of time. Then there was a horrifying sequence where Grond's actor ripped Angelica's actor, Butch Deadlift's throat out. That was graphic.

"Did you actually kill that guy?" Spine asked.

"Yes and no," Wilson said. "Method actors, the crazy assholes.Continuity."

Then the titan appeared. That got out. The film flickered and blurred into pixels. Then the screen went black and two malevolent eyes looked out of the screen at us. The titans voice, not Keith David's, rattled through the speakers and shook the room, "If you see this. I know who you are. What I did to Grond was the first warning. This is the second. There will not be a third. Stay out of my way."

The screen snapped back to my actor pummeling the newly crippled 'Grond' shouting, "Break! The! Narrative!"

"Title drop," Wilson said grinning ear to ear.

"Wasn't it Break the Dungeon?" Brandon asked.

"This is why people don't like you," WIlson retorted.

"I like me," Brandon said.

"Doug, already pointed out you aren't people, jackass. Also being people is important to me," Wilson pointed out. He turned to us. "So what do you think?"

Spine was staring at his hands "I think I am extremely high…" he slapped his hand on the table, "Yep. really high."

"Who is supposed to see this?" I asked.

Things were very quiet for a long time.

"It's just other Narrators isn't it?" I accused.

"For the most part, yes," Denise admitted.

"Then I don't give a damn," I said.

"The bit with the ominous voice shaking the world was kinda eh," Spine added.

Everyone looked at Angelica.

"They also use this as something for oracles to see if they don't roll well enough," Angelica explained. Then she shrugged, "So the last time I gave notes, and it would seem this time you weaponized that feedback against me. So you should all listen to Brandon more."

"Absolutely not," Grace spoke up.

"Celeste says it should be in Spanish," Angelica added.

"Celeste said that?" I asked.

"Totally," Angelica insisted. "She thinks it adds a certain romantic flair.

"Okay cool, have fun going to war," Wilson said. He seemed a little disappointed we weren't more upset.

…and I was back in the snow.

Just when time started a snow lion bit my ankle.

I hate snow lions. I also hate Narrators. I don't love musicals either.

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