How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire

64: Summoned


I stepped into the great glass elevator and took a deep breath. There'd been a touch and go moment where I worried Arvie was going to keep me captive in the VIP suite. A funny euphemism for a jail cell if there ever was one. A place that would be far more difficult to break out of than any brig on any ship I'd ever served on.

I chuckled at that thought as the elevator moved out over nothing and I was treated to the vista of the building all around me. Old movies, even new movies, depicted ship brigs as places where people were held behind a force field.

Which was a possibility, sure. There were all sorts of fields used in practical applications around a ship. Usually trying to keep the atmosphere in a ship when it started to vent into outer space.

But it was a whole sequel trilogy of a lot more practical to simply use bars on a brig. The same as had been used on jail cells since time immemorial.

They also didn't go out if there was a power fluctuation on a ship, which was always a good thing.

The great glass elevator started to move up, which had me pulling at the collar of my uniform. Complete with the insignia that I was pretty sure meant something along the lines of "Hey everybody! Here comes the general's side piece!" At least judging by the way everybody snickered when they looked at that insignia.

"Is something wrong?" Arvie asked. "I can't help but notice elevated levels that show possible distress. I can assure you that whatever you discussed with my shard in the VIP suite, it's not anything that I know about out here."

"I'm not worried about that," I said.

"Then what could possibly worry you?" he asked. "Is it having dinner with the general?"

"Has she had another bad day?" I asked, thinking about how she seemed to take out her bad days on yours truly.

Particularly by trying to beat the crap out of me while the two of us did some sparring up on top of the tower. Which always ended in a stalemate now that the link had solidified more and more between us. I could literally tell what she was going to do before she did it.

"I'm not sure how her day went," he said. "She had a meeting with the head of house Andreas, but that usually tends to go well."

"Oh yeah? What's their deal?" I asked. I was amused that I was discussing the nobility both with Arvie out here and with his shard in that room.

"They're a mid-level house. Not quite to the level of the high nobility, and definitely not on the level of the general."

"She's not high nobility?" I asked.

"There is a level above the high nobility," Arvie said.

"Good to know," I said. "And what's the difference between the high nobility and Varis?"

"Simple," he said. "She has the military prowess and command loyalty of her people, which means she's even more of a threat than your typical noble. Or there are some who are wealthy enough that they can make loans to the crown, although that's a dangerous position to be in, having the empress owe you."

"We have a saying about that back on earth," I said. "If you owe the bank a few million credits? That's your problem. If you owe the bank a few trillion credits? That's the bank's problem."

"That does sound very similar to what it's like being a creditor to the throne," he said.

"Well my stress doesn't have anything to do with any of that, Arvie," I said.

"Then why are you so stressed?"

"Simple. We're going up."

There was another pause. Another one of those moments where it seemed like I'd done something that thoroughly confused Arvie.

"William. I've seen you fly a fighter craft directly into the maw of a ship that just fired missiles at you as though it was nothing. I've seen you fly straight at a building then do a ninety-degree turn to run vertical up the building while those missiles slammed into the thing from below. I've seen you do things that seem insane by the standard of a living creature that doesn't have a backup waiting somewhere, and you're saying you're afraid of going up in an elevator?"

"That was different," I said.

Another pause. This seemed to be a banner day for me confusing the artificial intelligence. I would've considered that a win if I wasn't almost getting a case of the shakes.

"How could that possibly be different?" he asked.

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"When I was doing that, I had a fighter craft all around me. I was in my element. Sure, it'd been a while since I flew a fighter craft, but still. The fact remains that I'm at my best when I have a ship around me and I can manipulate it and do crazy things with it."

"Crazy things doesn't even begin to describe what you did with that fighter. The livisk newsfeeds were buzzing with the fancy flying you did."

"Wait, they were?" I said, grinning despite myself. "You're not just saying that to blow smoke up my ass?"

Yet another pause. I was going to have to start keeping track of that, because I felt like I was setting some sort of Combat Intelligence confounding high score today.

"How would blowing smoke up your ass solve anything? Is this some strange local superstition or something?" he asked.

"Not a local superstition at all," I said, waving it away. "Just a turn of phrase we have back on Earth. It means you're trying to puff me up. To butter me up. To kiss my ass."

"You continue to talk in idiom," he said. "Might I remind you that it doesn't help if you keep using idioms that I don't understand to describe an idiom I don't understand."

"You're trying to make me feel better about my situation by complimenting me when it isn't deserved," I said.

"Oh. Well. Why didn't you just say that in the first place? And I can assure you the compliment is deserved. The commentary on the various newsfeeds is talking about how your fancy flying is clearly an example of the best the livisk are capable of."

"Wait, what?" I said.

"Well, Varis isn't very well going to let the world know she allowed a human to take control of a fighter craft over Imperial Seat. We're trying to hold the empress off our backs, remember?"

"Right," I said, though I was a little chagrined that some hypothetical livisk was getting credit for all the fancy flying I'd done. It also said something about confirmation bias being a thing that crossed species barriers if the livisk were talking about my fancy flying like it was a clear indication of what they were capable of and not what humans could pull.

"Anyway. The reason you're reading stress signals is because I don't like going to an area where I might potentially be exposed. Like when I was on a walk with Varis and that imperial fighter craft suddenly appeared out of nowhere to take a piece out of me."

"That was a warning shot," Arvie said.

"How could that possibly be a warning shot?" I asked.

"Simple. They knew the shields would go up."

"It seemed like they were trying pretty hard to kill me."

"This is something you'll need to get over. I can promise you I'm being far more active in monitoring things now, and the shields are ready to go up at a moment's notice if it looks like someone intends to kill you. The shields worked the last time even without my direct intervention, I'll remind you."

"If that's supposed to make me feel better it's not working," I muttered.

But I stood straight. I tried to imagine I was in the cockpit instead of riding in an elevator that was exposed to anyone on the building's interior who might try to take a shot at me.

Yeah. I was behind the controls of a ship. Maybe trying to pull a fancy maneuver like the Nova Starburst.

One of those things that was banned by the Academy, but it didn't stop people from trying to pull it off when they didn't think people from the Academy were watching them on, say, a satellite feed orbiting Titan. It was one of those things everyone joked about as their first duty to attempt when they got close to graduating flight class.

I shook my head and pushed thoughts of mildly illegal maneuvers that were tolerated by instructors as long as no one got killed away. I went to a place of calm. It was a little more difficult to go there when I wasn't in my captain's chair or behind the seat of a fighter, but I eventually got there.

Just in time for the door to open, and I found myself standing on one of the internal concourses.

I reached out to touch the railing. I didn't look over the edge. I didn't want to get a case of vertigo.

Again, one of those weird things where I was perfectly okay as long as there was a craft in between me and a fall, but looking down did something to my lizard brain. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say it did something to my Great Ape brain, or my Ancient brain, considering we were descended from them, that told me there was a big fall and we needed to get the fuck away from the edge.

For all that I could see the faint sparkling outline of a force field between me and the fall.

I sighed and turned away from the great glass elevator as it pulled away from the landing spot. Lines in the floor pointed me to a wide arched entrance that went out into the atmosphere beyond. Out where someone could take a shot at me.

I took another deep breath and let it out. There were shields out there. I could do this. I wasn't going to let the empress get to me, damn it.

"I knew it," I muttered. "We're going to have dinner someplace outside the building."

"I already told you, William, everything is perfectly safe and under control."

"I know," I said, wondering at why I was suddenly getting this weird feeling. It made me want to get behind the cockpit of a fighter again. It made me want to fly out and give the empress a little bit of the business for that matter, but I kept it under control.

When I stepped out I found myself looking at a massive complex built into the side of the tower. It was one of several such complexes designed to fit the rest of the tower's aesthetic, which, if I'm being perfectly honest, made these areas look like the ribbed part of a massive silver dildo that thrust up into the Imperial Seat skyline.

I never mentioned that impression to Varis. I figured I shouldn't go insulting the building her family had built hundreds of years ago as a testament to their power. Even if there were several spots on the building that stuck out like a particularly nasty STI on a giant silver cock.

Varis stood just outside waving at me with a smile.

It was easy to pick her out. People were turning and looking at her, and when the blue sparklies realized she was waving at someone, well, that was their cue to turn and look at what she was looking at. They started murmuring as they realized her pet human was here for dinner.

At least that's what I imagined was going on behind all those looks and mutterings. I took a deep breath and forced a smile on my face. I didn't like being the center of attention, but I could deal with it.

These were her people, which meant they were my people, which meant...

Well, I wasn't sure what it meant, but I could put up with their muttering long enough to have a nice dinner with my sparkling blue alien girlfriend.

Even if this felt way too exposed to the rest of the city, and all the imperial war machines lurking out there waiting to take a shot at me, for my comfort.

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