He rolled his eyes and let out a sigh. "Of course I've heard of you. Everybody has heard of you. You've already killed two of us. They actually had us draw straws to see who was going to get sent out here. I wasn't supposed to be the one, but then my idiot sister decided it would help her score points with the empress if she dragged me out here on a babysitting expedition to try and capture you. Which I had no interest in doing. I'd rather be enduring date night than go out to the Undercity to meet a Terran who keeps killing prince consorts."

"Because you wanted your massage," I said.

"Oh, darling," he said, shaking his head and grinning. "I always need a massage from a nice strapping man before I have to go in and perform with Her Majesty on date night."

"Oh," I said, blinking as a few things suddenly started to click into place. Particularly why he kept giving me an up-and-down and barely glancing at Varis.

"Oh my…"

Amusement trickled through the link from Varis. I turned to stare at her. There must've been something that was endlessly amusing about the way I looked in that moment. She merely arched an eyebrow as she looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You seem surprised," she said, amusement practically oozing through the link at this point. "I'm surprised you're surprised. That's something that's documented in all of the descendants from the Ancients."

"Oh, I know," I said. "I'm just surprised I'm standing here next to you and a dude is more interested in me than you."

"Don't sell yourself short," she said. And now it was her turn for her eyes to run up and down my body with clear interest.

"Yeah, definitely don't sell yourself short," the prince consort said, also grinning at me as he gave me a similar look. "You definitely have a sort of exotic, dangerous Terran energy going for you, and I've heard the stories. They're kind of hot."

"Right?" Varis said. "Totally hot."

Meanwhile, all I could do was stand there and look between the two of them. I'd never had this feeling before. Like I was a hunk of meat and they were a couple of big dangerous predatory cats that were looking at me and growling all friendly-like because they enjoyed what they saw and couldn't wait to sink their teeth into me.

"Sorry," I said, turning my attention to the prince consort. "I appreciate the attention, really, but not my cup of tea."

"You don't know what you're missing out on," he said with a grin. "But I totally respect that. I can just enjoy the view."

"I am afraid I'm just a little confused about your… life choices? Whatever. I'm confused by…"

I trailed off, not sure how to phrase that and not sound like an asshole.

I also felt an itch between my shoulder blades. I was painfully aware there was an entire assault team of livisk who were probably crack troops sent by the empress. Which were a marked difference from the inmates slinging homemade bullets at us, or the bandits with their bandanas, or that group of what I assumed to be bounty hunters we ran into.

The empress was really throwing out all the stops to try and capture me since I'd been stupid enough to leave Varis's tower. I didn't know if I should be flattered or terrified.

"I thought you would be more understanding about that sort of thing," Varis said.

I blinked as I realized what she was talking about.

"Oh, no. That's not what I mean at all. I don't have any problem with that. To quote an ancient Earth poet bard, 'Baby, you were born this way.'"

"Exactly," Varis said.

"Granted we do still have some assholes who fuck off to outlying colony worlds where they can make their own rules based on religious stuff that was knocking around in the culture during mass media consolidation a thousand years ago. I always figured part of the reason why people fucked off to those outlying colony worlds where they could be as repressive as they wanted was there was nothing hotter for some of those repressed assholes than sitting down and trying to pray the gay away after they'd given into their carnal temptations at the glory hole in the bowling alley bathroom on league night, but that's neither here nor there.

Varis blinked at me. "What are you talking about?"

"This glory hole and your bowling leagues sound fascinating," the prince consort said, his eyes flashing. "I would love to seek some glory on one of these worlds."

"Big strapping sparkling blue guy like you? I'm sure you'd be popular if you could keep them from shooting you when you land," I said.

"Anyway," Varis said rather loudly, turning to look all around us.

I blinked. I was getting pretty far afield. People who wanted to fuck off to some distant colony world where they could pretend it was still the 20th century and they could pass laws against letting people marry whoever the fuck they wanted in the 30th century were pretty far from my concern right now.

Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

"I'm sorry," I said. "My confusion is that you're linked to the empress, right?"

"I am," the prince consort said.

"So how to put this delicately. Why would the empress want to link with somebody who wasn't interested in her? Like somebody who needs to go and enjoy a massage if they want to perform their duties?"

The prince consort shrugged.

"It was an alliance with my family. She was very interested in setting something up with House Arnel."

I blinked and let out a low whistle.

"House Arnel?"

"None other than," he said, putting his hand in front of his stomach and sketching a little bow.

Meanwhile his sister was still down on the ground groaning. I felt a little bad about that. Especially if she was from House Arnel.

The last thing I wanted was to go pissing off a major livisk house because I wanted to get the attention of one of their fail sons. Even if I needed the fail son's attention to survive the next few minutes and get out of here.

The needs of the moment outweigh the needs of the future sometimes.

"You know about House Arnel?" Varis said, turning and looking at me with a slightly raised eyebrow. Her look was inscrutable, but we had the mental link so I could tell exactly what she was thinking.

And she was curious, like she wanted to know how I knew about livisk houses at all.

It had everything to do with all the work I'd been doing with Arvie in my man cave back at her tower, but that was all stuff she didn't want to hear about because the less she knew, the less she could give away if the empress ever got a wild hair up her ass and kidnapped one of us to torture us for information.

"Yeah, I've heard of you," I said. "So she wanted an alliance and she was willing to put up with your dalliances."

"It's not like that's hardly out of the ordinary," he said with a shrug. "Show me a noble who doesn't mess around and I'll show you a liar."

"This is the first I'm hearing about this kind of behavior from the nobility," I said.

"Yes, because it's not something I'm interested in," Varis said.

The prince consort looked in between the two of us, and he seemed a touch surprised.

"You mean you're only with the human?," he asked. He sounded more scandalized at her being faithful than at the idea she might be having fun with somebody else.

I turned and looked at Varis. I arched an eyebrow.

"The human is the only one for me," she said with a shrug. "I've known that from the first time we bested one another in single combat."

"I seem to recall I was the one who bested you in single combat that time."

"I managed to escape," she said with a sniff and a raised chin.

"Because my ship blew up all around us and a bit of bulkhead pinned me to the floor."

"Well, it was my ship that fired on yours and caused the explosion that had that support falling down and pinning you to the floor. So I say that's technically a win for me."

"Fucking livisk and their technicalities," I muttered, shaking my head and grinning.

But it was gratifying to hear Varis wasn't interested in whatever hedonistic thing was going on with the other livisk nobility. I turned back to the prince consort.

"This is all interesting and everything, but it would appear we both have a problem."

"We do?" he asked, and now it was his turn to arch an eyebrow at me. He also hit me with a wide grin.

Despite what he was, I found myself taking a liking to this guy.

"Yup. We both have the same problem, the empress."

"Don't remind me," he said, rolling his eyes. "I can't very well get away from her, though. If I do, she might decide to take punitive action against my family."

"Against one of the more powerful families in the Ascendancy?" I asked, genuinely surprised. Surprise came through the link as well.

"And how would you know that House Arnel is one of the most powerful houses in the Ascendancy, William?" Varis said.

Uh-oh, I was in trouble. Any time she started calling me William, it meant I was in the shit.

"I mean, I just heard they were one of the most powerful houses in the Ascendancy."

"Power doesn't matter," the prince consort said, coming in for a save. "All that matters is it will annoy the empress, and you've seen what happens when the empress gets annoyed."

"I suppose I have," I said.

"What if we could offer you a solution?" Varis said.

She reached out and offered me a hand. I took it. I also tried to ignore that itching between my shoulders that was getting more and more intense with every passing moment. I'd been pretty sure they weren't going to shoot to kill, but I was also pretty sure if we were about to do something stupid here, then it might be enough to get people to start shooting.

"What in the name of the empress is wrong with you, Jeraj?" his sister screamed.

I blinked. She'd been quietly whimpering this entire time as she clutched her arm, but as I looked down at her now, I could tell the seven stages of grief for her recently departed arm was starting to turn to anger.

"Would you be quiet already, Yana?" he said, rolling his eyes. "We can reattach that arm or we can have another one grown for you." "Honestly, you're so dramatic."

"The human just chopped my arm off and you're chatting with him like the two of you are best of friends!"

"I don't know that I would say he's my best friend or anything like that, but he does seem to be a rather nice fellow. Not nearly as bloodthirsty as I've been led to believe."

"What about my arm?" she shrieked.

"Well. Other than that, of course."

"You'd be surprised," I said with a grin. "But I thought chopping someone's arm off in honorable combat was just saying hello for livisk."

"This wasn't honorable combat. You blindsided me," she bellowed.

"Any combat you walk towards over the body of a vanquished enemy is honorable combat," I said with a shrug.

"Wait, did you just quote one of the maxims of honorable combat?" Varis asked.

"Maxim number one," I said, grinning at her. "I've been boning up on livisk culture. I'm getting tired of getting blindsided myself."

She looked utterly astonished, but then she blinked and turned her attention back to the prince consort. She looked over her shoulder at all the gathered troops all around us.

"Okay," she said. "So we're going to have to be careful about this, but I think I have a way we can get out of this and take care of you as well."

"And my sister?" he asked.

Varis blinked, looking down at her, and then back to the prince consort.

"You want to take her along?"

"Why not? She is my sister."

"But she was helping the empress keep you hostage."

"She just wants what's best for the family, the same as me. But if you can come up with something better for us and I don't have to deal with that woman anymore, all the better."

"Right," Varis said, looking over at me and grinning.

"Is that what this feels like?" I muttered.

"What?" she asked.

"Somebody coming up with an evil plan and looking at you and you can feel it coming through the link, but you have no idea what's going on and it's annoying?"

"Yes, that's exactly how I feel with you all the time," she said. "Now Jeraj, what would you think of being taken captive?"

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.