"I feel… Lost." I said, as I let go of my shoulders, hands, and eyes, "I feel aimless, directionless."

Her hands stopped for a second, letting the soap soak further into my scalp, skin, and probably my bloodstream, too. Oh god what if the soap gets into my eyeballs and my vision came 20/20?

"Cory…" Tanya spoke softly, "Have you ever felt like this before?"

"Felt pointless?"

"Mhm."

"No, I haven't… Which is weird."

Tanya continued her hands movement, rubbing the side of my head, down to my ears, then back up to the hairline. At certain points she would also put her fingers down underneath, which prompted me to raise my head up slightly so she could get soap down there where she couldn't normally reach.

When my head touched the pad again, she said something I couldn't have thought about.

"Could this stem from you living a different life?"

"What does that even mean?" I asked as Tanya began to get soap into my ear, cleaning them with her thumbs.

"You've been through a lot, Cory. One of the most resilient human being I've got the pleasure to witnessed."

Her words came with an eerie cold wind, a howling chill of the night echoed as I opened my eyes to meet hers looking down at me. She seemed to be leaning forward for me to get this view, as if she knew I was searching for it.

"... You're scaring me, Tanya." I whispered.

She twisted the faucet, water poured down, and Tanya began washing all the soap out of my hair. At times, her hands went as low as my neck, and water got into my dress's collar, dripping down to my armpits and chest cleavage (or whatever it's called when you have small breasts).

"What I'm trying to say is." Tanya leaned down and gave me a sudden kiss on my forehead, startled me, "Despite the downward spiral of your life, despite your love ones being gone from your life—your parents, your first kiss, your senior that taught you everything there is about game exploiting—despite everything, it's still you."

"Don't fucking patronize me!"

I sat upright in anger, my fist clenched on my thigh as I gritted my teeth.

Water dripped, getting all over my body and the spa bed. I didn't even look up to see if there was any soap left as I just turned around and glared at Tanya with hostility.

"Don't tell me shits like I'm strong, I deserve better, I've done well or something! That doesn't help, those words never helps! God, why must everyone keep bringing up their names… Fuck ugh!" I placed both hands on my face as I lay down again, exhaling into my palms, also covering all my facial features to not show any ugly emotions, even when I'm not crying.

"Did I anger you?" Tanya asked casually.

"Yes." I said whilst my voice was muffled, "Did Ann told you about our senpai? The guy that taught us how to break Darkmoon Adventure? Yeah, I'm over him. And my parents' death? I don't care either! Neither do I care about the disappearance of my childhood bestfriend, Absidy. I got my own life and my own present that I need to care about now, please just… Don't act like I'm some kind of crybaby, pitiful puppy that's depressed over them, fuck you and fuck everyone that do this!"

…

…

"Sorry." I whispered, "I shouldn't have… blame you."

Tanya's hands started moving again, but there was nothing left to do with my hair, she was just splashing water all over it to clean off all the residual soap.

I'm just glad that Tanya allowed my tantrum to past.

I was fully expecting to be kicked out at this hour, to be scolded, to receive passive aggressive remarks… I was expecting pain to come my way as I deserved them. But she was rather quiet, which, both put tension in my heart, because she could crash down at me any moment, while also eased my anxiety.

After my hair were cleaned, she went to grab a towel and a hairdryer. Tanya rubbed my hair down, each individual strands were pulled tenderly, squeezing off any excess.

"Thank you…" I sighed, turning into my non-newtonian state again, "I needed this… It's like… Drinking water after getting a hiccup, I got something off my chest."

"Mhm… Do you know what Japanese people often pray to depressed people?" Tanya said.

"I don't… But I wouldn't be surprise they got something insightful to say, since they're really suicidal over there." I answered.

I completely missed Tanya's insinuation that I was depressed there. Which I would absolutely disagree with.

"They would say." Tanya picked my head up with her towel to clean the bottom side, "I hope you eat a warm meal and have a good night sleep."

"That's cool I guess." I sat upright when my hair was completely dried.

Tanya walked to my right, where I climbed onto the spa-bed in the first place, so I turned over with my short legs dangling over the bed as she stood in front of me.

I stared down at Tanya's half-naked body, her light blue underwear, I was flustered when her arms were raised above my head to scratch and fluff my hair, accentuating the curves of her average body even more under the dim light of the apartment.

I spreaded my legs without even knowing it, Tanya stood in between as her hairdryer went to my ears, hairline, swirl, and bang.

I, without much of another thought, put my arm under hers, then moved them upwards to grab onto her shoulders to balance myself. While my eyes dropped downwards, letting my forehead rest against her sternum.

Almost a hug, I guess.

We were unreasonably close.

"This is toxic…" I whispered, "I'm coming to you just for my own pleasure, to vent about my problems, and to ask you for informations."

I continued, "And I don't even know why you used my username."

After another few seconds, I felt the hairdryer noise stopped.

"Take it off," Tanya said, looking at my blue dress which was half-soaked from when I sat up with my wet hair, "I'll put it in the washer, you can get it back next morning."

She took a step away from me to put the hairdryer and towel back to their respective places, and I did as instructed without as much as a thought, removing the dress.

Tanya's apartment didn't have any mirror, so I could only look down at myself to see how unappealing I was… Black bra and shorts, not a fitting combination, since I'd rather be caught with bra & panties, or crop top & shorts.

Tanya took the dress and went to the balcony to put them in the washer.

I sat on the spa-bed, just staring at her aimlessly.

I would be happy if we went ahead and have sex right now, but for some reason, that's not my number one concern or craving right now, I just want to feel her warmth for a second longer.

And she must've know it.

"Have you ever been bridal-carried before, Cory?"

For some reason, I couldn't really remember, have I? Have I not? So I just stared at her.

Tanya placed her right hand under my knees, the left supporting my back, and picked me up much to my utter shock.

"You're… strong." I said, noticing how she didn't even grunt once.

"You are light." She smirked.

Tanya sat down on her couch, and I was placed between her legs, so I just kind of snuggled to her chest like that, curled up into a little ball. And from this view, I could still see the balcony.

"... I think my phone and cash were in that dress pocket." I whispered.

Lo and behold, she handed me my phone and cash right next to my ear, and I have no idea when and where did she keep it.

"Thank you, again, Tanya…" I said, placing my stuffs onto the table right next to us, and just got back to being a brainless blob of flesh, "I like what you're doing."

"Mhm…"

I know not of who she was; I don't know her lastname, I don't know who she is on the top 50 leaderboard, I don't know how she managed to be the #3 contributor to the Ashen Bark raid, I don't know what kind of person she is to say such cryptic and half-insightful stuff.

But I know for a fact that she could very well be a real life succubus, because all my life force were sucked out whenever I'm with her, leaving only temporary pleasure.

Tanya, the unpredictable woman as she is; asked me.

"Do you know the concept of Dao, Cory?"

I thought I misheard her the first time, so I answered with a low sound from my throat like "hm?"

She repeated with a smile, "Do you know about the concept of Dao?"

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