[TRIAL OF THE FIRST CHAMBER INITIATED.]

[DEFEAT THE GUARDIAN OF POISONOUS FANGS.]

Tsk, just what I needed.

A man can't even touch some glowing mana dome without triggering trouble.

Every damn thing in this world is either cursed, magical or weird.

I swear, this world just hates me.

Alden frowned but he had no time. The dome started disappearing rapidly.

He got into a battle stance, looking at the ugly lizard glaring holes at him.

The lizard held a spear in its hand but something was definitely strange with it.

Why the hell is that fucker smiling at me?

It was looking at Alden with a grin… a weird kind.

Must be a facial issue, I am sure. Nothing weird.

Alden's eyes sharpened.

So, from what I understand…I need to defeat this guardian, get the key and enter the next chamber.

Sounds simple.

From the notification it was clear to him that the guardian uses poison… but unfortunately for poor Lizard, poison had no effect on Alden.

His [Voidheart] neutralised all kinds of poisons.

Just then—

The mana dome completely vanished.

But the Lizard didn't move immediately. Instead it looked at Alden with more amusement.

"Hiss, a human… It's been a long time since I saw one." The lizard spoke.

"Nice to meet you too." Alden replied.

I mean it's basic courtesy to greet some unknown ugly lizards right?

"Ohhh… A polite one. Say… want to stay here with me? Forever?"

The lizard spoke human tongue effortlessly or maybe… it was the system translating the language.

Either way Alden didn't care. He was more curious about…

What the fuck was this lizard saying?

"Sorry, what?" He blinked.

Suddenly the lizard averted its gaze. "Hisss… do I have to say it out loud? Marry me."

Alden's mind blanked.

What the fuck?

Is this lizard for real? Is it hitting on me?

Or Is this part of the trial? Am I supposed to defeat the guardian… emotionally?

"Sorry, I am married and have sixteen children… so can you let me pass?" Alden lied without even blinking an eye.

He was a gentleman after all.

Lizard or not… he didn't want to break the heart of an innocent maiden… if that's what it probably was.

There was one more reason… Alden didn't want to fight it.

The lizard gave off no power whatsoever.

No mana. No aura. Not even a hint of killing intent.

It was as if it was really the weakest. But Alden knew better.

It's always the quiet ones that are the deadliest.

Suddenly the lizard's eyes narrowed. "Aren't you a little too young to be having sixteen children?"

Alden replied immediately. "Aren't you a bit too old to be hitting on kids?"

"I see… I misunderstood you as polite." the lizard said, tail twitching. "Has no one taught you to never talk about a woman's age?"

Oh. So she was indeed a woman.

"Don't worry… I'll discipline you properly." Her claws tightened around the spear. "Just like all my previous husbands. We'll have thirty-two children. You'll forget all about your sixteen."

"Yeah… No thanks. I'm faithful to my wife." Alden didn't miss a beat.

"That's what all of your predecessors said. See how happy they are now?" She smiled pointing toward a dark corner of the chamber. "They never complain anymore."

Alden followed her gaze and his expression darkened.

There, half-buried in the shadows, lay dozens of human skeletons, some still clutching broken weapons.

Probably the silent witnesses to lizard love gone horribly wrong.

I think marrying in lizard tradition means killing off the husband.

Before Alden could think any more bullshit thoughts… the lizard shot forward.

"Hisss… you'll be obedient once I lock you in my basement," she hissed.

Fuck. This damn lizard is a full-blown yandere.

Alden cursed under his breath as he ducked, barely dodging the spear that shot toward his throat.

He activated his [Spirit Domain] and [Eyes of Supreme] immediately.

His [Voidheart] also helped him filter out any useless thoughts.

The moment [Spirit Domain] expanded, time seemed to slow around him. His senses expanded, feeding him information about everything around him.

She wasn't fast. At least, not compared to what he had fought before.

But her control over the spear was terrifying.

Her spear curved mid-thrust, shifting direction midair with expert precision.

A feint?

Alden twisted sideways but the butt of the spear connected with his ribs anyway.

Tch, she's an expert.

He jumped back across the floor. Pain bloomed where she hit but thankfully nothing was broken.

"Hisss… You dodged that?" The lizard blinked and then grinned. "You really are husband material."

"Sorry. I don't marry reptiles."

She lunged again. "You'll look perfect in my collection once I cut off that rude tongue of yours."

This time, Alden didn't dodge completely.

He tilted his head slightly, letting the spear slide past his shoulder.

The blade grazed him. But it gave him just enough space to move inside her reach.

His sword slashed for her midsection.

Clang!

She reacted instantly as she caught the strike with the shaft of her spear and flipped it instantly into an upward jab.

He ducked and jumped back, blood trailing from his shoulder.

Fuck. She adapts way too fast.

It wasn't just brute strength.

Her stance, her footwork and even how she moved her eyes—everything screamed discipline.

This wasn't a wild boss monster. This was a master duelist.

Great.

He tightened his grip on the sword. "Guess I'll have to get serious."

"Good. It's more fun when they fight back." The lizard grinned wider, lowering her spear. "But before that… let's have some talk."

Alden blinked. "Huh?"

What the hell?

"It's been a while since I met someone," she said, her eyes filled with curiosity. "I don't want to end it so soon."

Alden didn't lower his guard but he eased his stance slightly. "What will I get in return?"

The lizard tilted her head and smiled. "Me?"

Alden frowned, lifting his sword. "No thanks."

She let out a small hiss of laughter. "Alright, alright. How about this? I'll answer one question. Truthfully."

Alden thought for a while. "What if you attack me while I let my guard down?"

"Don't worry… I swear on my role as First Guardian of the Temple— if I lie or attack you during our chat, the temple itself will punish me."

The chamber shook slightly, humming with some strange energy as a glowing orb of energy shot out and merged with the lizard's body.

"You see that? I took an oath as guardian. If I break my promise, I'll be punished."

So the temple itself enforces her word.

"Fine," he said at last.

Honestly, if he could get some intel in exchange for having a normal chat… he was up for it.

Information meant options. Options meant survival.

And not like he was going to let his guard down… just because some stupid lizard said so.

She laughed, her tail curling. "Suit yourself, hubby."

This was going to be weird. And probably chaotic.

But chaos loved him.

And Alden, like the idiot magnet he was, always managed to flirt back without meaning to.

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Author Note:

This chapter was pure chaos and yes—our boy Alden just got proposed to by a spear-wielding yandere lizard.

Things will only get weirder from here, so buckle up.

And if you're enjoying the madness… drop some Power Stones, toss a Golden Ticket, or send a Gift.

Alden's got sixteen imaginary children to feed, after all. 😂

____

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