This Human Immortal Is Too Serious

Chapter 158 Unavoidable...


Wu Wang just wanted to laugh at this moment.

The Heaven Palace was preparing to reclaim the Dao of Fire, the Human Emperor was sitting alone in the Northern Region, guarding the gates of the Human Domain.

The Candle Dragon Divine Faction was stirring in the Outer Sky, and his mother was worrying about how to protect the Bear Hug Tribe.

The stance of innate gods like Queen Mother of the West was uncertain; a scoundrel Evil God like Qiong Qi might be plotting some earth-shattering conspiracy. There were so many young ones of the Hundred Races in the Nine Wildernesses of the Great Wilderness without enough food, and yet he, Wu Wang...

Was actually nervous about the arrival of two women!

What was there to be nervous about? He couldn't even hold their hands!

In the corner behind the Screen, Wu Wang and the Grand Elder were facing the wall, both young and old fixated on the Cloud Mirror hanging on the stone wall before them.

In the Cloud Mirror, a unique confrontation was taking place on the top level of a flying ship.

At the center of the confrontation were two figures.

Ling Xiaolan was enveloped in a faint Immortal Light, currently kneeling on a soft, snow-white cushion, her eyes closed in concentration.

Today, she had her hair styled in a charming cloud-like coiffure and wore a flowing, rainbow-hued gown. Though she usually disliked revealing too much skin, she had bared most of her fragrant shoulders and jade-like arms. Her delicate collarbones resembled blooming calyxes. Her face, veiled by a thin gauze, was clearly beautiful, yet one could not glimpse its entirety, always tempting onlookers to risk offense for a few more glances.

Behind Ling Xiaolan sat seven middle-aged looking Immortals from the Xuan Nu Sect, with two low tables before them. Across the aisle, behind other low tables, a group of Northern Wilderness women stood with crossed arms and slightly parted legs.

Their attire of short blouses, bare feet, and small leather skirts naturally differed from the long gowns favored by women of the Human Domain. The former's toned physiques and smooth muscle lines also possessed a wild beauty rarely seen in Human Domain women.

But standing before these Northern Wilderness warrior women, the young girl seated with her legs tucked in like a duckling, with her delicate and charming appearance, shattered the stereotypical image of Northern Wilderness women.

Her face was quite adorable, with cherry-small lips, a small round face, and large, sparkling eyes that seemed to hold Stars within them.

Most striking was her figure, which seemed sculpted from elegant lines. Her abdomen was firm and faintly lustrous, her smooth waistline a fusion of strength and softness, and her slender legs did not appear overly muscular.

The current Young Master of the Big Wave Tribe, Lang Guduo.

At this moment, she held a teacup in both hands, slowly tilting her head back, showcasing her swan-like neck as she sipped the tea with the aristocratic air of one drinking thousand-year Daoist liquor.

「Outside the Cloud Mirror.」

The Grand Elder muttered, "This child isn't bad either, but aren't Northern Wilderness women usually a bit more tanned?"

Wu Wang was speechless. Grand Elder, you sure know a lot.

A hint of emotion flickered in Wu Wang's eyes as he said, "She must have used Xun Grass and other Spirit Grasses. Her previous physique was not inferior to Xing Tian's; to achieve her current figure, she must have endured considerable hardship. Where's Mao Aowu?"

"Sect Master, look, he's entered the cabin," the Grand Elder said softly, adjusting the Cloud Mirror's perspective. Indeed, Mao Aowu was seen carrying a tray into the cabin, upon which sat two small dishes.

Wu Wang raised an eyebrow at this and began to observe the reactions from both sides.

Mao Aowu took a dozen steps forward, looked up at Ling Xiaolan and Lang Guduo, and suddenly froze.

He felt it!

Wu Wang also sensed that Mao Aowu had felt it! That indescribable, unprecedented pressure.

Behind Ling Xiaolan, several Immortals from the Xuan Nu Sect opened their eyes and fixed their gazes on Mao Aowu. The pressure emanating from their Dao Realm caused Mao Aowu, a Heavenly Immortal Realm cultivator, to break out in a cold sweat.

Meanwhile, behind Lang Guduo, the group of fierce-looking Northern Wilderness warrior women all turned their eyes to Mao Aowu, making his legs tremble. He felt as if he were caught in a vortex, pulled back and forth by two opposing forces.

The silver-haired Heavenly Immortal finally realized he had created a difficult problem for himself.

These two plates of candied fruit I'm holding... which side should I serve first?

The scene in the Cloud Mirror seemed to freeze. Cold sweat trickled down Mao Aowu's forehead, evaporating quickly as it reached his chin.

He began to turn slightly to his left.

"Hmph?"

The eyes of the Northern Wilderness women glinted fiercely.

Mao Aowu instantly stood ramrod straight, offering a slight smile to the Sect Master's honored guests.

"Ahem!" An Elder from the Xuan Nu Sect cleared her throat, a trace of Immortal Light flashing in her phoenix-like eyes.

Mao Aowu's shoulders hunched, and he dared not move a muscle.

What do I do? What do I do now?

Through the Cloud Mirror, Wu Wang and the Grand Elder exchanged a look, already feeling the suffocating pressure themselves.

Suddenly, Mao Aowu yelped, "WHOOPS, WHOOPS!" He tripped his left foot with his right and, in slow motion visible to the naked eye, pitched forward. The two small dishes flew from his hands simultaneously, landing perfectly on the low tables before Ling Xiaolan and Lang Guduo.

Without even trying to stand, Mao Aowu scrambled up, turned, and fled the cabin, looking even more disheveled than when he faced the fiends of the Ten Evils Hall.

WHOOSH!

The Cloud Mirror transformed into a streak of blood-red light and merged into the Grand Elder's fingertip.

"Sect Master," the Grand Elder mused for a few moments, "I've suddenly had an epiphany. I may need to enter seclusion for a few days."

"Hey!" Wu Wang reached out and grabbed the Grand Elder's arm. "Grand Elder, you're the only one I can rely on right now! Why would you go into seclusion at such a critical moment?"

The Grand Elder was momentarily flustered. "Sect Master, I'm afraid I can't be of much help in matters of the heart like this."

"If it really comes down to it, just use the Blood Killing Dao to scare them both! Just give me some advice!"

"Advice..." The Grand Elder coughed, then fumbled in his sleeve for a good while before finally producing an ancient, faded magic treasure gourd.

"I used this in my youth. One Elixir sharpens the mind, two ensure unceasing virility, three grant inexhaustible energy day and night, and four... well, four can easily damage one's foundation."

With that, the Grand Elder patted Wu Wang's hand, his eyes filled with encouragement.

"This is all I can do to help you, Sect Master."

WHOOSH! With a flash, this newly ascended Transcendent of the Demon Path, a master of the Blood Killing Dao and proficient in the Dao of Heaven and Earth, vanished before Wu Wang's eyes, leaving him clutching the gourd, utterly bewildered.

Hmph! To think the Grand Elder sees me this way!

Wu Wang, seething with indignation, stuffed the faded magic treasure gourd into his sleeve, his entire being radiating an aura of righteous dignity.

I just wonder if Elixirs stored for so long will lose their potency...

What should I do? Wu Wang pondered carefully. The scene he had just witnessed in the Cloud Mirror was already so dire.

Should I go out and hide for a while? But how could I? I still need to have a proper talk with Little Guduo and dispel her budding affections. I must face this matter head-on.

After much deliberation, Wu Wang had a plan.

He summoned Ji Mo and Lin Qi via voice transmission. The three of them conferred in hushed tones for a long time before setting off on their separate tasks.

Ji Mo and Le Yao went to greet the honored guests, using the following reasoning to ensure both parties maintained a low profile:

*Due to Lang Guduo's special status, and Wu Wang's intention to keep his identity as the Young Master of North Wilderness undisclosed, Lang Guduo's entourage must change into Human Domain attire and adhere to Human Domain customs before appearing within the Annihilation Sect. If Wu Wangzi's identity were to be exposed, it could bring disaster upon North Wilderness.*

Lin Qi, meanwhile, went to find his 'One Two Three Four.' Later, One and Four would attend to Lang Guduo, while Two and Three would serve Ling Xiaolan.

Why this specific arrangement? No other reason than that the sums of the numbers (1+4 and 2+3) were equal, ensuring no perceived favoritism.

Wu Wang then went to the inner guest room where Xing Tian was confined and had Immortal Mu release the restrictions on Xing Tian's Primordial Spirit.

Xing Tian, grinding his teeth, grabbed Wu Wang and gave him a good shake. Wu Wang apologized profusely, and soon the two were arm-in-arm, plotting how to persuade Xing Tian's little sister to return home.

Wu Wang tried to state his position clearly, "Brother, let me be frank. Knocking me out and then... taking advantage of me... that's something I cannot accept."

Xing Tian glared. "Who would actually knock you out? It was just an expression, a way of speaking!"

This excuse clearly wasn't going to work.

Thus, Wu Wang looked at Xing Tian, his eyes filled with sorrow, and said in a low voice, "Brother, tell me, is our bond strong?"

"Of course, it's strong."

"Iron-clad?"

"Absolutely iron-clad!"

"I've always considered you my own flesh-and-blood brother!" Wu Wang patted Xing Tian's shoulder, his eyes brimming with anguish. "You're like an elder brother to me! And because of that, I see Little Guduo as my own younger sister. How could there possibly be romantic feelings between us? That would be the greatest insult to our brotherhood!"

Xing Tian started, a look of sudden realization dawning on him.

The robust man stumbled back a few steps, a moved expression in his eyes. He pondered for a moment, then looked up at Wu Wang. He opened his mouth but only managed to utter, "This..."

"Brother," Wu Wang gazed at the heavens, tears glistening in his eyes, "my pain is far greater than yours."

"AIYAYA!" Xing Tian clasped his hands together, bowing deeply to Wu Wang. "It was I, your brother, who was inconsiderate and failed to consider your feelings! I am unworthy of being your elder brother! This matter... I'll stay out of it. Just... just make Little Guduo give up on the idea! Alas!"

With that, Xing Tian voluntarily lay back on the stone bed, squeezed his eyes shut, and then struck his own head hard, forcing himself into unconsciousness.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Wu Wang thought. He bowed to Xing Tian with clasped hands and walked out of the inner chamber.

Sorted! Brother Xing Tian really is easy to handle.

Afterward, Wu Wang went to discuss matters with Lin Suqing for a few moments. Lin Suqing would later become more active, helping to draw some of the "fire" away from him.

What other measures can I take to prevent awkward situations from arising?

Wu Wang visited the Treasure Hall to find Elder Miao, asking her to select a few talkative female Disciples who would later be responsible for mingling with the visitors from the North Wilderness.

After racking his brains, he couldn't think of anything else to prepare.

Time to rest a bit and gather my strength to face Little Guduo.

Before long, from behind the Screen, a soft snore was heard, and a faint Dao rhyme began to flow, illustrating how Stars and fire intertwine.

「Several hours later,」

A tower ship flew in under the night sky.

The entire Annihilation Sect became bustling with activity, with Ji Mo, Elder Miao, and Le Yao each performing their respective duties.

Ji Mo and Le Yao went forward to greet the guests, engaging in conversation with the senior members of the Xuan Nu Sect.

Elder Miao, her charm subtly deployed, managed to captivate the group of female warriors from the North Wilderness.

The four Maidens arranged by Lin Qi stepped forward, guiding the two groups of visitors to a cliffside pavilion and the Sect's Treasure Hall, respectively.

Lin Suqing, dressed in a warm-hued palace gown that made her resemble a lotus emerging from water, was also outside the Sect Master's bedchambers, ready to welcome them.

But amidst this scene, everyone soon noticed a significant problem.

"Where is the Sect Master?"

"Where has Brother Wuwang gone?"

Lang Guduo, blinking her large eyes, asked in a low voice, "My Bear... Brother Wu Wang, where is he?"

The cultivators looked around but could not find Wu Wang anywhere, nor could they sense even a trace of the Sect Master's presence.

「Behind the Screen in the Sect Master's bedchambers, on the soft couch,」

Wu Wang was sound asleep, surrounded by Dao rhymes rippling like water, all perfectly concealed by an outer Barrier.

"HEE HEE."

Immortal Mu, hiding behind the couch, chuckled comically and added a nineteenth layer to the Barrier around Wu Wang.

I certainly don't want him to be woken up by any woman other than Suqing!

「Wu Wang had a dream.」

In his dream, he soared through the Star Sea, chasing after those Stars that seemed so close yet remained tantalizingly out of reach.

But when he tried to look down at the Great Wilderness, he could only see a vast emptiness, as if the Great Wilderness itself was shrouded in thick black fog.

Before he could investigate further, it felt as if a Great Dao trembled in the void. Starlight erupted violently, and the world in his dream suddenly collapsed, jarring him out of his state of Enlightenment in Dream.

The soundly sleeping Wu Wang's eyes snapped open. The Dao rhymes around him dissipated, and before him was the luminous wall of the Barrier, glowing with Immortal Light.

I fell asleep? And I attained Enlightenment again?

Wu Wang subconsciously inspected his inner self. He saw countless Stars converging in his Qi Sea, transforming its original 'elliptical Galaxy' form into a hazy nebula.

The Golden Core that contained his Great Dao had become almost completely transparent, with what seemed like a golden crow concealed within.

Around his Spirit Platform, silver lights flickered. The fire manifested by the Yan Emperor's token sometimes took the form of a lotus, sometimes that of a Longsword. Floating beside it were the Star Sword and the all-encompassing Golden Dragon Armor, each emitting wonderfully distinct Dao rhymes...

But at the edge of the Spirit Platform, the originally murky mist was now tinged with pale white.

The purifying Qi was vibrant and lively, the Immortal Light faint and ethereal, revealing hints of golden columns and splendid domes, like a grand hall standing amidst a sea of clouds.

Is my Spirit Platform about to transform into a God's Mansion?

Looking at his Nascent Soul, the child-like figure sometimes appeared nearly transparent, at other times it was filled with Immortal Light.

I slept for a bit and almost became an Immortal? Is that even possible?

Wu Wang tapped his head. The insights accumulated in his dream flooded his mind—most were comprehensions of the Star Dao, along with many ingenious ideas inspired by knowledge from his past life.

Then, why didn't I become an Immortal?

Wu Wang carefully recalled the experience of Enlightenment in Dream. It seemed as if he had been jolted out of the Enlightenment realm by a Great Dao.

And that Dao... was none other than the Star Dao that exists between Heaven and Earth...

Wu Wang sat up. The numerous layers of the immortal power Barrier around him silently dissipated, and the noisy sounds from outside immediately reached his ears.

He instantly stood up and hopped behind the Screen, where he could see the lively scene in his abode.

The pool had been covered with stone slabs. Several rows of low tables were arranged on either side, and over a dozen modestly dressed women were dancing gracefully.

All the Elders of the Annihilation Sect had gathered. Several experts from the Xuan Nu Sect were in attendance. Xing Tian had brought his sister, along with several female Generals from the Big Wave Tribe, to the feast. Lin Qi and Ji Mo were seated in Wu Wang's place of honor.

"Young Master, you're awake?" Lin Suqing peeked around the edge of the Screen, a hint of delight in her eyes. "Are you going to undergo Crossing Tribulation?"

Wu Wang forced a wry smile. "Crossing Tribulation for what? I'm still half a step away, not yet at the peak of the Ascending Immortal Realm."

As soon as he spoke, the cave abode fell silent.

Then came a clangor of pots and pans as a crowd surged from behind the Screen.

Wu Wang waved his hand, storing the Screen in his Storage magic treasure.

The Grand Elder asked with concern, "Sect Master, did you not directly break through to the Yuanxian Realm?"

"No, I was a hair's breadth away."

Wu Wang, still a bit wistful, murmured to himself, Can I really attain Enlightenment in my dreams? How did I gain so many insights into the Dao just from a dream?

The expressions of the several high-ranking members of the Xuan Nu Sect darkened.

The Elders of the Annihilation Sect, however, were quite composed... They were used to it.

Ji Mo smiled and said, "Congratulations, Sect Master, on another breakthrough in your cultivation!"

Lin Qi also said, "Congratulations, Teacher! You're only a hairbreadth away from becoming an Immortal!"

Ling Xiaolan said softly, "Just half a step more, indeed."

"Brother Wuwang!" A crisp voice rang out. Lang Guduo called out joyfully, yet her cheeks flushed red as she hid behind Xing Tian, biting her lip while watching Wu Wang.

Clutching Xing Tian's short shirt in her small hand, she whispered, "It's been... such a long time..."

Wu Wang smiled. "It has been a long time. How have you grown so much in the blink of an eye?"

"Yes, I... I..." Lang Guduo shifted half a step sideways, nervously placing her hands behind her back. Now wearing a light white tube top dress, she gazed intently at Wu Wang.

"Are you... happy to see me?" she asked.

"Of course, I'm happy," Wu Wang said with a smile. "How could I not be happy when my little sister comes to visit?"

He called out, "Don't just stand there dazed! Continue the music, continue the dance! Is there a seat for me?"

Everyone bustled about. Soon, Wu Wang was seated cross-legged in the main seat of honor, flanked by Ji Mo and Lin Qi, holding a wine cup and toasting everyone.

Lang Guduo, who had been sitting a few places away from Wu Wang, seemed to quickly muster her courage. Carrying her own cushion, she ran with light, quick steps to Wu Wang's side and asked without any pretense, "Brother, may I sit beside you?"

Ji Mo immediately stood up, smiling. "I'll go sit with Yao'er."

I should kick him! Wu Wang thought, resisting the urge.

Lang Guduo thanked Ji Mo with a smile and soon sat cross-legged beside Wu Wang, her small face blushing. She glanced at Wu Wang a few times, then lowered her head, listening to her suddenly racing heartbeat.

The female Generals of the Waves Tribe were busy sending their young master mental fist pumps of encouragement.

How should I start this conversation with Lang Guduo? Wu Wang wondered. Unfortunately, the time I should have used to prepare my lines was spent attaining Enlightenment in my dreams.

The Fairy Immortals of the Black Desire Door danced gracefully, and the nearby music became lively. The Elders of the Annihilation Sect all smiled and bowed their heads, watching the spectacle with their Immortal Consciousness.

Elder Miao, who hadn't come to join the festivities and was now sitting alone under a flowering tree sipping wine, watched the scene with a faint, interested smile.

"Brother," Lang Guduo asked in a low voice, "did you... did you ever..."

"Hmm?"

She hurriedly said, "Nothing! I wasn't asking if you missed me!"

Wu Wang smiled. "I've had many important matters to attend to in the Human Domain, so I really haven't had much free time. Occasionally, when I think of home, it's usually my parents and your brother that come to mind."

Xing Tian, unable to bear watching, looked away and drank his wine sullenly.

Lang Guduo blinked, a little crestfallen, and murmured, "You didn't miss me...?"

Were my words too harsh? Wu Wang sighed internally.

Suddenly, a somewhat cool voice came from his other side, "Brother Lin, may I switch seats with you?"

Lin Qi, who had been staring intently at his wine cup, sprang up as if on springs. "Yes! Please, Fairy Immortal!" he said to Ling Xiaolan.

"Could you please move your low table and cushion over as well? Thank you."

"Certainly, certainly, no problem at all." Lin Qi picked up the low table and cushion and scurried off to a corner seat.

Ling Xiaolan laid down two layers of soft mats, placed a plain white cushion on top, then neatly arranged her dress and knelt beside Wu Wang. With a wave of her hand, the low table from her original seat floated gently towards her.

Wu Wang turned to look and saw a hint of warmth in Ling Xiaolan's eyes.

"*I'll help you,*" she conveyed through voice transmission. Though just three words, they subtly touched Wu Wang's Dao heart.

The next moment, several layers of Immortal Light around Ling Xiaolan slowly faded.

Her face underwent slight changes. Already transcendently beautiful, she now appeared even fairer and more radiant. The small red mole at the corner of her mouth vanished, replaced by a cinnabar mark that emerged on her forehead.

Her almond-shaped eyes were the only features that remained unchanged, yet due to these subtle modifications, her face gained an extra touch of tenderness and charm.

Her neck seemed more slender, her figure flawless, with nothing to add or take away.

The likes of Ji Mo, Lin Qi, and Xing Tian couldn't help but stare, and the Elders of the Annihilation Sect were somewhat puzzled.

However, an expert from the Xuan Nu Sect feigned dissatisfaction and remarked, "Xiaolan, how could you so easily undo the seal that Sister Jue Tian placed on you when you were little?"

"A woman adorns herself for the one who pleases her," Ling Xiaolan said softly, turning to Wu Wang, her eyes filled with a tender smile. "Now that I'm here to cultivate profound methods with Wu Wang, why should I continue to conceal myself?"

Lang Guduo peeked over from the side and couldn't help but cover her small eyes with her hands.

Aah, such light! So bright!

The Tianyan Saintess, Ling Xiaolan, one of the top ten Fairy Immortals in the Human Domain—at this moment, her charm was in full bloom!

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