This was a little different from what he remembered, but Damon felt a burst of emotions.
"...You... you... you spoke..."
Damon felt a small sense of joy for the first time in quite a while. In his darkest hour, hearing Matia's voice made him hopeful. She had saved him once more.
He felt reinvigorated.
Lazarak merely watched the proceedings without saying anything.
Matia didn't speak further. Her expression didn't seem to change. She wasn't the same girl he had envisioned.
Damon remembered the trembling girl who was more afraid than anyone, yet brave enough to fight despite her fears.
The girl who fought so she could be herself was the one who was lost.
She was the one who became a shadow.
"I... I... You seem... different. You don't seem much different from when you were a shadow..."
He muttered those words as if something was wrong with them.
Matia's expression was taciturn.
"I am not different…. I am a shadow."
She could sense Damon's sadness and disappointment, so she forced herself to speak more than she needed to.
"I wished to change, from someone weak to my ideal self... and this is my ideal. I spent years fighting in the darkness alone."
Damon felt a sting in his heart. She must have been afraid, surrounded by darkness and horrors.
"I was afraid, but I was more afraid of staying the same. I was a fairy born in darkness and forged in ruin… I am your shadow."
Her words didn't make Damon feel any better.
"I'm sorry... for failing to save you. I'm sorry for turning you into this. You didn't ask for this. This was a choice that I made."
The tone of his voice was low. Matia suddenly felt a pang in her heart. She knew what Damon sounded like when he was ashamed.
She was his shame. His shadow.
Having regained all her feelings, her memories, and the ability to connect her thoughts beyond instincts and fragmented recollections, Matia wanted to speak her part. To tell him what she had been unable to all this time, all the time he had been eaten away by guilt.
"It was my choice. It was my choice to be your shadow."
Damon saw it, what he hadn't seen on her face this whole time. Emotions. Her eyes flickered.
Matia pressed her hand on her chest. Her heart was beating. It was beating again.
She was alive. She really was alive. Her memories that had seemed dull and disconnected were flooding back, illuminating her.
"I was asked. I was given a choice: peace or return as your shadow. I chose to be your shadow. I chose to fight. So please... accept me as I am."
Matia's voice was aggrieved. She lowered her herself.
"Let me be your sword."
She lowered her head as her formless, icy weapon reshaped into a sword, which she laid down before him.
"I am merely a woman, and I cannot change that. But I swear I will be better than a thousand men. I swear to follow you to the highest heavens and to the deepest abyss."
Her hands trembled. Damon saw it, the face of the young girl from that day, the one who had told him she wanted to be herself.
Damon felt his heart constricting.
"And if I want to kill a god..."
"I will fight a god," Matia replied calmly.
"And if I want to destroy the world?"
"The world shall be no more," she answered.
"If I wanted to burn cities and kill innocents?"
"No one is innocent. Cities shall burn," she spoke coldly.
"What if I didn't want you as my shadow?"
"Then I shall insist on following you till the end," she replied without hesitation.
"Matia... I want you to be free," Damon whispered softly.
"I want the freedom to be chained to you," Matia replied without hesitation.
"Bravo, bravo. That was beautiful. I was so moved. Such loyalty... I was in tears," Lazarak's voice echoed as he interrupted them.
Damon glanced at Lazarak's direction, then sighed.
"I'm not winning this, am I..."
Matia didn't say anything. She merely equipped her helm and picked up her sword coldly.
A sword needed no words, and a knight wouldn't speak unless addressed.
Besides, not speaking was a habit she had picked up from fighting in that dark hellhole for years.
There was no need to speak. Her actions would speak for her.
"You really don't mind obeying orders? I mean, I would hate that."
Matia's eyes flickered.
Then she spoke one last time.
"I'd hate if you took orders. Keep charting your path. I will follow as your silent shadow. I will show my wretch of a father just how much more inferior his king is."
Damon laughed, though his laughter hid a trace of sadness. This was not what he expected. This was not what he had envisioned.
That would be interesting if Damon didn't actually die.
"Now then... Lazarak, shall we proceed with the plan?"
Damon spoke, his voice echoing.
Lazarak was silent for a moment.
"Plan? What plan? I wouldn't call something like that a plan, but suppose it's a start."
He gazed at Matia's form, encased in armor.
"Erm... between the both of us, is it really okay to send such a delicate lady up there? I mean, some of those guys aren't exactly the most pleasant to be around."
Matia's eyes turned chilling. Was Lazarak looking down on her because she was a woman? Feeling her cold gaze, the darkness made the sound of a throat clearing.
"Ahem... my bad, my bad. You're a strong, independent woman."
Damon wasn't buying it, but he never planned to send Matia up there.
"There's no need for you to worry. She won't be going up there. I would."
Lazarak was silent for a moment, then glanced at Damon's disembodied heart, chuckling.
"Oh yeah? And how do you intend to do that? By removing your soul from your non-existent body and getting a new one?"
Damon was silent, but if he had a body, he would be smiling.
"More or less."
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