The morning after the coronation of chaos.

That was the phrase circulating through the Imperial Capital before the sun even managed to drag itself over the palace walls. Scribes were writing "official commendations," nobles were writing "official complaints," and Eunuch Zhao was writing his resignation letter for the fifth time that week.

Meanwhile, Li Ming sat in a courtyard surrounded by manicured lotus ponds and the faint smell of expensive anxiety.

He sipped tea, calmly, as if the previous night hadn't ended with him being knighted as The National Disaster of Honor.

Lan Yue stood nearby, arms crossed. "You realize the whole court spent the night debating whether to praise you or arrest you, right?"

Li Ming nodded.

"Li Ming."

"Yes?"

"Balance doesn't mean both sides equally hate you."

He thought for a moment, then smiled faintly. "Doesn't it?"

Bai Guo, perched on the teapot, added, "In his defense, Senior Sister, hate is still energy. He's cultivating reputation qi."

Lan Yue sighed, realizing there was no winning this argument.

---

Before they could continue, Eunuch Zhao arrived, looking like a man who had just attended a polite apocalypse. His robes were perfect, his bow was flawless, and his voice trembled only slightly.

"Honored Li Ming, His Majesty requests your presence in the inner garden. The Royal Cultivation Banquet will resume with… diplomatic exchanges."

Li Ming blinked. "Diplomatic exchanges?"

Zhao hesitated. "Political duels. With words."

"Oh," Li Ming said. "So violence, but with grammar."

Lan Yue pinched the bridge of her nose. "Please don't ruin this one."

"I never ruin things," Li Ming said, standing up. "They just… achieve enlightenment faster than expected."

---

The Imperial Inner Garden was vast — a living formation of jade walkways, spirit trees, and fountains sculpted to resemble celestial beasts. At its center stood the Emperor, surrounded by foreign envoys, sect representatives, and enough spiritual pressure to flatten a mid-tier mountain range.

"Li Ming of Azure Sky Sect," the Emperor said with an amused smile. "I trust you rested well?"

Li Ming bowed. "I slept like the Empire's economy — uneasily but with great potential."

A nearby official choked on his tea.

"Excellent," said the Emperor, pretending not to notice. "Today, our guests from the Northern Flame Kingdom and the Nine Lotus Sect have arrived. You will join them for the Royal Cultivation Banquet — the portion that tests wisdom, diplomacy, and restraint."

Lan Yue whispered under her breath, "Three things you have never demonstrated in the same day."

Li Ming whispered back, "That's what makes it a test."

---

The envoys were already seated when they arrived.

On the left sat the Nine Lotus Sect representative, a serene woman with eyes that could probably turn arrogance into compost. On the right sat the Northern Flame envoy, a muscular man with the subtlety of a thunderstorm and a beard that had seen battle.

"Let the Banquet of Insight begin," declared the Grand Minister.

Attendants brought in plates of delicacies shaped like celestial beasts — not meant to be eaten, but to represent virtues.

Li Ming stared. "So this is symbolic dinner?"

Lan Yue whispered, "You're supposed to interpret their meaning."

He nodded seriously. "Good. I'll start with the dragon-shaped dumpling. It looks wise."

He picked it up. It promptly disintegrated.

Everyone stared.

He looked at the fragments and said thoughtfully, "Ah. Impermanence. A lesson in humility."

The Emperor chuckled. "Truly… insightful."

The Northern Flame envoy squinted. "You dropped it."

Li Ming smiled mildly. "Interpretation is in the eye of the observer."

Bai Guo whispered loudly, "And the hand of the clumsy."

---

Next came the "Exchange of Wisdom."

Each envoy had to present a philosophical statement for others to respond to — not with argument, but with cultivation reasoning.

The Northern Flame envoy stood first. "In battle, strength decides truth. Those who are weak have no voice."

Polite nods followed. It was an expected, traditional statement.

Then Li Ming rose, clasped his hands, and said, "In conversation, patience decides truth. Those who shout first, usually forgot what they were shouting about."

A ripple of laughter spread through the crowd.

The envoy frowned. "You mock me."

Li Ming shook his head. "No, I balance you. Yin and yang. Muscle and reason. You bring flame, I bring tea."

"Tea cannot win a war," the envoy snapped.

Li Ming smiled. "True. But it wins allies."

The Emperor tapped his fingers on the armrest, eyes gleaming. "Well played."

Lan Yue looked at Li Ming, half impressed, half terrified. "That was… actually profound."

"Of course," he whispered. "Even I get confused sometimes when I mean it."

---

The Nine Lotus Sect representative spoke next. Her voice was calm, her tone melodic.

"Attachment leads to imbalance. The Dao demands release."

Li Ming tilted his head. "Then how do you explain tea addiction?"

The woman blinked. "Pardon?"

"If all attachment is imbalance," he continued serenely, "then why does every enlightened person I've met cling to their favorite tea leaves like they're life-bound spiritual artifacts?"

The hall froze. Even the Emperor leaned forward slightly.

She hesitated. "That… is different."

"How so?"

"Tea is… refined."

"So is obsession," Li Ming said. "It's just steeped longer."

The Emperor burst out laughing. "Heaven save us, the boy's right."

Bai Guo whispered, "That's two wins and zero casualties. You're cultivating diplomacy like it owes you spirit stones."

---

The banquet continued in that strange rhythm of humor and awe. Nobles began whispering, scholars started scribbling notes, and somewhere in the back, a monk had achieved minor enlightenment trying to understand one of Li Ming's jokes.

Finally, the Emperor raised his cup. "Li Ming of Azure Sky Sect," he said. "You have entertained the court, enlightened the scholars, and enraged the stubborn — three accomplishments in one morning."

Li Ming bowed lightly. "Balance achieved."

"Tell me," the Emperor continued, voice lowering. "If the Empire is a formation, as you said before — how would you strengthen it?"

The hall went silent again.

Li Ming looked around slowly, then answered:

"By reminding every rune that it matters."

The Emperor's brows lifted slightly. "Explain."

He gestured to the nobles, the guards, the servants in the corners.

"A formation doesn't collapse because the core fails. It collapses because the small runes stop believing their glow matters.

Give them purpose, and the energy flows again."

Even Lan Yue blinked, caught off-guard by how quietly sincere that sounded.

The Emperor smiled — not politely this time, but genuinely.

"Perhaps the title National Disaster of Honor was too small for you."

Li Ming tilted his head. "Then what? Global Concern of Dignity?"

The Emperor laughed so hard his crown tilted.

"Enough!" he said finally. "You've earned the right to speak at tomorrow's council of ministers. The Empire shall hear your insight."

Lan Yue froze. "He's putting you in the political council?"

Li Ming nodded thoughtfully. "Interesting. So the disaster spreads."

Bai Guo squawked, "We're going to get exiled before dessert!"

Li Ming only smiled. "Then let's make sure dessert's worth it."

---

The next morning, the Imperial Capital woke to three official headlines:

1. "Azure Sky Envoy Declared National Disaster of Honor!"

2. "Court Etiquette Ministry Applies for Mass Leave."

3. "Emperor Reportedly Laughed. Economists Concerned."

---

Li Ming sat in a quiet garden pavilion inside the palace complex, sipping tea that smelled suspiciously bureaucratic.

Lan Yue stood beside him, massaging her temples. "You understand that you caused a political incident?"

He nodded calmly. "Yes. Which one?"

"The entire banquet!"

"Ah. Comprehensive efficiency."

She exhaled through her nose. "The Emperor has summoned you again — to the Council Chamber. Apparently, he wants your 'insight.'"

Li Ming blinked. "Insight? That's dangerous."

Bai Guo landed on the table, looking far too awake for morning. "He means dangerous for them."

---

When they entered the Hall of Golden Deliberation, the air was thick with tension and expensive perfume.

Rows of nobles, generals, and ministers lined the marble floor, each armed with scrolls and subtle hostility.

At the far end sat the Emperor, regal as ever, sipping from a teacup that probably had more history than some nations.

"Li Ming of Azure Sky," he said, his voice calm but threaded with curiosity. "Last night's… banquet was enlightening."

Li Ming bowed slightly. "Enlightenment is rarely planned, Your Majesty."

Several ministers scribbled notes immediately — the dangerous kind of scholars who thought philosophy could be weaponized.

---

Minister of Rites, the same man from yesterday, cleared his throat.

"Your Majesty, may I remind the court that this individual turned the Evil Academy into a poetry club and redefined gravity?"

Li Ming interjected politely, "Only temporarily."

"Temporarily?"

"Yes. They're now experimenting with emotional support rituals."

The minister's jaw clicked audibly. "This—this is absurd!"

Li Ming nodded sympathetically. "Absurdity is balance misunderstood."

The Emperor nearly choked on his tea trying not to laugh. "Proceed."

---

The Prime Minister, a calm and elderly man with a beard long enough to file petitions, spoke next.

"Honored Li Ming," he said, "His Majesty wishes to hear your opinion on governance."

"Ah," Li Ming said thoughtfully, "my favorite dangerous topic."

The court collectively braced itself.

Li Ming raised his cup. "Governance is like cultivation. Too much force, and qi stagnates. Too little, and demons move in."

The Finance Minister frowned. "You mean corruption?"

"No," Li Ming replied. "Bureaucracy."

Gasps rippled across the chamber.

Even Bai Guo leaned close and whispered, "He's committing political suicide elegantly."

---

Li Ming continued, completely serene.

"In my humble opinion, the Empire is like a great spiritual formation — vast, beautiful, but slightly clogged."

"Clogged?" repeated the Defense Minister.

"Yes," Li Ming said. "Too many talismans — not enough purpose. You're sealing everything, including progress."

The Emperor's eyes glimmered with amusement. "And what would you recommend?"

"Routine cleansing rituals," Li Ming said cheerfully.

"Burn one outdated law every full moon. Keeps the qi flowing."

A few younger officials actually nodded in agreement before realizing what they'd done.

The Minister of Rites whispered furiously, "He's reforming policy through metaphor!"

---

Duke Shen, who had yet to recover from last night, slammed his fist on the table.

"This is mockery! You dare trivialize centuries of Imperial system!"

Li Ming tilted his head. "Only the parts that stopped working."

"You insolent—!"

"Balance, Your Grace," Li Ming said mildly. "Your blood pressure is trying to ascend."

Laughter broke through the chamber like a cracked formation.

Even the Emperor covered his mouth. "Duke Shen, perhaps balance yourself."

The duke's beard quivered with rage. "Your Majesty—!"

Li Ming turned to the scribe beside him. "Please note: the Duke's aura has achieved combustion."

---

The Emperor, now fully entertained, leaned forward.

"Very well. Let's put this balance theory to test. Suppose you were to advise me for a day — what would you do?"

The court fell silent.

Lan Yue's expression screamed please don't.

Li Ming took a long sip of tea, as if pondering the fate of an empire was equal to pondering breakfast.

"First," he said, "I'd rename all ministries."

"Rename?" asked the Prime Minister warily.

"Yes. Simpler names. For clarity."

He gestured around the chamber.

> "Ministry of Rites becomes Department of Overthinking."

"Ministry of Finance becomes Department of Missing Money."

"Ministry of Defense becomes Department of Loud Solutions."

"Ministry of Agriculture becomes… Department of Hungry Patience."

The entire hall froze.

Lan Yue whispered, "You just insulted the Empire alphabetically."

Bai Guo beamed. "He alphabetically balanced them."

---

The Emperor's lips twitched. "Go on."

"Second," Li Ming said, "I'd schedule mandatory meditation breaks for all officials."

The Prime Minister frowned. "We already have rest periods."

"Yes," Li Ming replied, "but you use them to write about not resting. That's anti-rest."

Bai Guo clapped his wings. "He's right! I read a scroll titled 'Proper Rest Etiquette: When to Pretend to Relax.'"

The chamber collectively avoided eye contact.

---

"Third," Li Ming continued, "I'd host a national debate every month — no titles, no ranks. Just ideas."

The Minister of War scoffed. "You mean let commoners question nobles?"

"Of course," Li Ming said. "How else will you find out who's wrong?"

The court erupted — half in outrage, half in suppressed laughter.

Lan Yue muttered, "One day they'll realize you're serious."

"I hope not," Li Ming whispered back. "That's when it stops being fun."

---

The Emperor rose slowly, still smiling.

"Li Ming," he said, "you have insulted half my government and redefined the other half's anxiety… yet somehow, I feel more enlightened."

Li Ming bowed slightly. "That's the cultivation of clarity, Your Majesty. Side effects include laughter and reform."

Bai Guo added proudly, "Also ulcers."

The Emperor laughed — genuinely this time. "Perhaps your balance is madness… but it is useful madness."

He turned to the stunned ministers. "Summon the scribes. Record every word."

"Every—?" the Prime Minister began.

"Yes," the Emperor said firmly. "We shall review his 'Department of Missing Money.' I find the name… honest."

---

As Li Ming and Lan Yue exited the chamber, Bai Guo strutted ahead, chest puffed like a divine rooster.

Lan Yue sighed. "You just rewrote the Empire's government structure by accident."

Li Ming adjusted his sleeve. "Then it's balanced. They create chaos through order — I create order through chaos."

"Do you ever rest?"

"Frequently. That's how I get ideas."

"Terrifying," she muttered. "Absolutely terrifying."

He smiled faintly. "Thank you."

---

That evening, the Imperial bulletin released an update:

> BREAKING NEWS:

Following consultation with Envoy Li Ming, His Majesty establishes a 'Committee for Common Sense Cultivation.'

Objective: To ensure all future reforms pass the 'Would Li Ming Laugh At This?' test.

Lan Yue groaned when she read it.

Bai Guo laughed so hard he fell off the balcony.

Li Ming simply sipped tea under the moonlight.

"I knew this," he murmured — as chaos politely scheduled its next appointment.

To be continued...

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