Today's Earth date: February 12, 1992

We've been killing time waiting for the orcs to show themselves, and we have two local rangers with us who know the area far better than we do.

We recently learned that the Free Continent is much larger than we were led to believe. That's where we go after the Earth Temple. We get on a boat and sail to a whole other continent.

The rangers said the Free Continent was like four kingdoms put together. That's massive, which means a lot of travel.

The squires tried really hard to play that down when the rangers pointed that out. I think the squires saw how much it deflated us.

To get from the Air Temple back to the Capital is a six-month trip. Six months! I'm worried she's moving on with how long I've been gone already, but would she really wait that long? That doesn't seem fair to either of us.

-The Journal of Laszlo the Paladin

The ground beneath the Cuts quaked as an eel-like creature as wide as a four-car garage unfurled from the last Spawner.

The hopsters were mini-bosses, as Wayne had expected, but he didn't consider that this could be akin to a champion-style spawn. The small bosses were the first phase. Charybdis was meant to be the real challenge.

And she kept getting longer. Wayne Blitzed into the sky to get a better view, and he saw that Charybdis didn't have eyes or a nose. Instead of a head at the end of its long body, it had a yawning maw filled with teeth, like a lamprey. The creature's body was black but shimmered ‌blue-silver in the sunlight, and the jungle flattened anywhere the beast chose to writhe.

What was once impenetrable rainforest now looked like the aftermath of a logging operation, punching a giant hole in the endless growth of the Cuts.

Wayne's party didn't have the maneuverability that he did. Charybdis could easily crush them to death if she got too close.

"Margo, back to the party," Wayne called as he Blitzed toward the monster.

More red dots sprang to life on his HUD as he shot across the sky.

"It's summoning Water Elementals! Focus on the adds while I work the boss."

He didn't pause to see if his party listened. He trusted them to do their part. With the help of Metox and Incoming, he handily dodged balls of water and ice thrown by the Water Elementals and closed on the colossal eel.

It lunged forward with incredible speed.

Easy Out-Easy Out-Easy Out.

The wind of her round mouth snapping shut hit Wayne with gale force. He launched Dynamite and Missiles, but they barely singed the heavy scales plating her body. Between Charybdis' size, speed, and resilience, Wayne knew fighting from range wasn't going to work.

Wayne called Skycat and ordered the fighter plane to strafe the eel with Missiles and plant burning bushes near the rear of its body–anything to hold its attention long enough for him to get close.

Dropping to the ground, he ran across the jungle floor, hurdling fallen trees and coral as Firenze V12 picked up speed. Like he did with Three Deaths, he intended to use Blitz and Easy Out to dodge. With any luck, he wouldn't–

Shit!

He narrowly blitzed clear of Charybdis' mouth descending from the sky. It crashed into the earth like a flying house dropped by a tornado. The scale and power of the creature didn't make sense in Wayne's mind. His thoughts kept telling him that this monster didn't exist because it couldn't. It wasn't possible.

Wayne hit one more Blitz then cast Gra on himself, increasing gravity to yank himself downward. He landed on Charybdis' back and allowed himself a moment of relief when he felt Soft Tires stick him to the eel's body.

The majority of his most powerful skills were still on cooldown. No Slyway Robber spell to steal attribute points or Burner Max ability to replenish his mana. Righteous Cloud and Two by Four were out, and so was the rapid-fire buff provided by Super.

Missile and Sword of Water couldn't even get through the scales.

If he didn't have Soft Tires, Charybdis would have thrown him into the Cuts pretty much immediately. He found himself thanking baby Jesus that Soft Tires didn't have a cooldown.

So he started stabbing. He spun his sword, locked a downward grip, and punched holes in the eel's back as he ran toward its head. If Three Deaths had the agility and flexibility to snap at Wayne when he was on its back, he expected Charybdis to do the same. Being closer to the head would prevent that.

And she did as he predicted, but she pulled her strikes somewhat. Wayne guessed she wasn't willing to injure herself in the process of harming him.

He kept running, lifting and lowering his sword as quickly as he could, creating a perforated line along the monster's long body.

The health bar on his HUD hadn't moved. There wasn't even a sliver of red. Charybdis was either unharmed or had so many hitpoints that Wayne's little toothpick stabs were inconsequential.

Fire a Broadside!

A cannonball shot out from Wayne's shoulder and then curved back. It slammed into the head of Charybdis, and the health bar finally moved.

But only barely.

He would need twenty more cannonballs at least to win the fight that way. Like his other big damage dealers, it had a cooldown.

The last big spell in his arsenal was Tyris-Flare Fire Magic (3 Pots), but if Dynamite and Missiles were ineffective, using it now felt like a waste.

What options was he overlooking? Still stabbing and running, he cycled through all of his unlocks in his mind, then he did the same for his party, hoping one of them might have a day-saving ability he hadn't considered.

He dug his foot and pivoted before he ran into Charybdis' mouth and began running the opposite direction, still thrusting his sword even if it felt futile.

Looking down her back, Wayne saw that Charybdis was getting longer, pulling more and more of her body out of the ground with every twitch. She was 150 yards long, at least, and getting longer.

Wayne was about to tell his party to run for it when he finally saw her tail. A cluster of blue jewels wrapped around the very end of the eel's body. Wayne smiled and rolled his eyes at the same time. The boss having a gimmick was a good sign, even if it felt a bit silly.

Sliding to a halt, Wayne came face to face with the crystals, a sparkling mass as long as he was tall. He wasted no time and began slashing at it with everything he had.

The health bar finally began to fall at a steady rate.

Charybdis contorted to bite Wayne, but he dodged with an Easy Out. Then the monster rolled, attempting to slam Wayne against the ground with its tail. He jumped free, Blitzed clear of danger, and released his Golden Axe spell. The burning spectres crashed into the clump of gems, drawing a scream from the monster. It echoed like max-volume static through the forest, forcing Wayne to wince from the pain.

He ordered Skycat to focus on the tail. Missiles from the fighter plane gradually chipped away at the boss's health. Wayne jumped and used his Blitz-Gra combo to again drop onto Charybdis' back. He ran toward the weak spot again, firing his own Missiles as he went.

As the monster twisted to bite at Wayne, a laser came down from the sky, stunning the beast momentarily. When Wayne came to a stop to slice the tail, one of Armond's Protective Pentagrams formed around him. Then he felt the speed boost of Ner.

Wayne laid into Charybdis with everything he had.

And she died.

Wayne stabbed a dozen more times to be sure and then fell off the side to lie on the ground. He gasped for breath.

"Anyone hurt?"

"Nothing serious," Armond answered.

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

"Can someone check on the wagon?"

"Hector's already on his way."

And the HUD was empty except for four clumps of yellow dots. As excited as Wayne was about potential loot, he wasn't ready to move yet. While the adrenaline slowly withdrew, he opened his system:

Hero: Wayne the Guy

Level: 21

HP: 300/300

STR: 38

AGI: 31

VIT: 20

LCK: 35

He jumped two levels and didn't have time to use Christmas List in between. Losing the unlocks for level 20 was frustrating, but nothing could be done about it. Agility went up more than usual, and he quickly found the source.

He unlocked his fifth ability from Super Monaco GP:

7 Speed Transmission – Gain more control over acceleration and shifting.

It added +2 to his agility, a significant stat boost.

He also got his final unlock from Cyberball, and he assumed it was another robot summon:

Quarterback – He's in charge of the offense on the field.

The sixth unlock came through for Railroad Tycoon, capping off his progression in that game as well:

Train Roster – To build a new train, pull down the Build menu and choose "New Train". This opens the New Train window that shows a picture of the locomotive types available, their characteristics, and their cost.

Train Roster appeared as a new menu option in his system. Clicking into it opened a display that listed his train as a 4-6-2 Pacific with two attachments, Goods Storage and Cold Goods Storage. The only two options on that display were greyed out: Board and Build.

The Storage abilities were only usable in town, so perhaps Train Roster was the same? As for what it meant to have a 4-6-2 Pacific, Wayne couldn't even begin to guess.

The other three unlocks he got from his double-level jump were even harder to unpack from their descriptions alone.

From Afterburner II:

Microwave Stations – These stations pass radio signals along with the help of signal-boosting equipment.

From LHX Attack Chopper:

Enlist and Equip a New Pilot – These are the procedures you follow to enlist a pilot, assign him a chopper, prepare for your first mission, and get into the action.

From Golden Axe:

Elves – Sometimes Elves sneak around at night, when you're sleeping. Wake up as quickly as you can to get Magic Pots and Strength Bars from them.

Microwave Stations appeared as a Utility skill but was greyed out. Enlist and Equip a New Pilot was under passives, as was Elves.

That last one… In the original Golden Axe, little men carrying big bags appeared from time to time. Hitting them made them drop power-ups and health. Did that mean strange elves would now appear around Wayne sometimes? And he had to assault them while they tried to run? He hoped not.

"Wagon's good," Hector reported.

"Pull it as close to the Spawners as you can? Might as well make camp here."

"You got it."

Wayne sat up and wiped blood and mud away from his chain mail. Seeing how much stuck between the small rings of the mesh made him frown. With this heat and humidity, the Charybdis guts coating him were already starting to smell. He'd never get the chain mail clean while they were this deep in the Cuts.

"Good to see you in one piece," Fergus said, giving the head of the colossal monster eel a wide berth. "We jumped a few levels."

Wayne didn't have the energy to parse through his party's unlocks, but he knew everyone had maxed out Tunnels & Trolls, so he quickly switched the other party members over to Buck Rogers before he forgot.

"Same. How do you think we should go about searching the Spawners?"

"For loot, you mean?"

"Yes."

Fergus wrinkled his face. "Save the big one for last?"

"Sounds good."

Wayne and Fergus went to the first spawner while Armond and Margo went to help with the wagon. A single chest at the bottom of the pit. Wayne used Resource Values on the six bottles he found inside:

Potion of +10 Hit Points, Average Value of [sales data unavailable].

Potion of +1 Strength, Average Value of [sales data unavailable].

Potion of +1 Intelligence, Average Value of [sales data unavailable].

Potion of +1 Agility, Average Value of [sales data unavailable].

Potion of +1 Vitality, Average Value of [sales data unavailable].

Potion of +1 Luck, Average Value of [sales data unavailable].

"You're sure it says 'Intelligence?'" Fergus asked.

"Certain. I know. It's weird to see a boost for a stat the system doesn't list."

"It has been theorized that it always existed but is simply hidden. Either way, you need it the most."

Wayne chuckled. "You're an asshole."

The next Spawner had a chest with 1,000 gold. Not exciting, but acceptable.

The next chest had eight more potions, but they all had the same description:

Elixir of the Moon, Average Value of [sales data unavailable].

Neither scholar had a theory for what they might do, but it did fit the cut quest theme they learned about in the Lighthouse dungeon.

By the time they reached the chest attached to the boss spawner, the rest of the party had crossed the debris-ridden battlefield to join Wayne and Fergus. Kenny followed behind. Her skin was pale, and her eyes were locked on the corpse of Charybdis. She tripped several times while she tried to keep up.

Where the other spawners had chests with gold trim, this chest was trimmed in a white metal, perhaps silver or white gold. When Wayne cast Open, the lid flopped back and a geyser shot out of the chest. The whole party scrambled backward in case they were being attacked.

No monster came for them, but the water formed an ever-rippling and flowing body of a mermaid. She stood three times taller than Wayne and had the beauty of a Grecian masterpiece. She looked in Wayne's direction, vaguely. When he moved, he found that her gaze stayed fixed, but she spoke as if someone was right there listening to her.

"Brave Heroes, thank you for freeing me. I have watched your progress from my prison, and I am grateful for what you have done for my waters and for my people. The fight is not yet done, however. Lift the curse of the moon by venturing to the depths of the Water Temple to save our world from the were-affliction. The rings in this chest will allow you to breathe underwater as my kind does. Go, and put an end to this at last!"

The form broke apart, and the water splashed to the ground.

When Wayne checked the chest, he found a tablet instead of rings. Having an idea of what it said, he grumbled and opened his documents to translate it officially.

The tablet read:

"On water-breathing mechanic completion, place 6x Rings of Water-Breathing."

He broke the news to the party, but morale was still high from the harrowing battle.

"Sammy asked if we should ride a bit farther before making camp," Armond reported. He gestured to the corpse of Charybdis and added, "That will attract a feeding frenzy when the smell gets worse. Might already be a problem, even."

"That's a good point," Wayne agreed. In his mind, he replayed a YouTube video of a seaside town attempting to remove a beached whale corpse with dynamite. "Let's head back to the wagon and find a good spot to camp. I'm starving."

Fergus said, "I'd like to check something. I'll catch up."

The wizard used Fly Me to hop over Charybdis and went roughly southeast.

Wayne let the rest of his party go first and followed after them, trying to read his system and walk at the same time. He failed. The ground was a mess of churned-up dirt, fallen trees, and broken coral.

Kenny came up next to him. Some of the color had returned to her face.

"How'd you know this was here?" she asked.

"Short answer is that it's part of how my Diary works."

"So you've seen these before?"

"Not these exact monsters, but a similar setup," Wayne answered. "That's definitely the biggest thing we've ever seen."

"I thought the world was goin' to end."

"It was hairy there for a bit, that's for sure."

"Did you see a lot of monsters like that on Earth?" she asked.

Wayne laughed. "I barely left my house on Earth. We also didn't have monsters."

"Hard to picture you not bein' an adventurer."

"I don't believe it myself sometimes. I've changed a lot."

Kenny bit her lip, seemed to think about whether or not she should speak, then turned to Wayne. She dipped her head slightly, so she was looking up at him with big brown eyes, and said, "You ever think about–"

"Wayne," Fergus said.

Wayne held up a finger. "Sorry, one second."

"Yes?"

"Can you see me on your map?"

Wayne paused and adjusted his head. He saw Fergus' dot off in the Cuts, and he immediately understood what Fergus likely found. If the three mini hopster lobster Spawners were actually four, Fergus stood at the bottom of a diamond that would surround the boss Spawner.

"It's all dug up, and there are a lot of rat tracks. No monsters, no Spawner, no chest."

"Sounds like a good haul of demon material for a fleshmancer," Wayne said.

"I'm afraid so."

"Odd that they only recovered one of the Spawners."

"We assumed they were single Spawners at all times, so maybe they did the same," Fergus proposed.

"So they found one and didn't think others would be nearby."

"Correct. Lucky us?"

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