Today's Earth date: November 24, 1991

Iomallach is so far away. We'll be walking for two weeks or more.

This suuuuuuucks.

-The Journal of Laszlo the Paladin

Armond decided what he wanted to do instead of spearfishing: a barbecue.

One of his old squadmates used to smoke a pig once a month or so, a rare break from mess hall gruel, and he found himself missing not just the flavor but the ritual as well. A day around a fire with ale and friends? That was a slow, laziness that was more comforting than the softest beds.

Sammy loved the idea, and he loved it even more when Wayne suggested they do their cookout in the scenic field around the Water Temple. The party would be camped there for a day or two anyhow. Wayne had to hike down to the bottom to meet Vanilli, and that could take a while.

Hope to meet Vanilli was more accurate. The demon could easily choose to ignore Wayne entirely. Margo would likely be able to see the hidden dwarvish script with her Prism skill, but that felt like kicking in the door if Vanilli didn't answer. If Vanilli wanted to continue his Water Temple lifestyle, Wayne was inclined to let him. Vanilli was just another interloper brought to this world against his will, and if he wanted to spend the next thousand years singing to one Paula Abdul album, more power to him.

As soon as Outlawson came to a stop, Sammy was out of the wagon, unpacking everything he needed for the cookout. Armond and Hector helped him while Fergus and Margo started the process of making camp.

Wayne, meanwhile, packed a rucksack. He had two bottles of wine and six books to trade with the demon in the Temple, every item hand-selected by Fergus to bolster "the ultimate life of solitude" that Vanilli led. With his strength at 30, weight wasn't a problem for Wayne, but getting all of his supplies to fit was difficult. He reclaimed some space by cutting his total rations.

He planned to run to the bottom, so he wouldn't be inside very long. If he got hung up and was low on food, he could use Rise to warp himself to the surface, taking comfort in the knowledge that Sammy would have a delicious meal ready for him.

Fergus asked again if Wayne wanted company. He said he was fine and encouraged the party to enjoy the food and the view while he was gone.

For the first twenty minutes inside the Temple, Wayne periodically yelled out for Vanilli. Then he remembered BGM Music. He hit Random, and this text appeared on his HUD:

Song: Fairy Rides Osman's Horse

Artist: Federal Ministry of Culture and Sport of Bosnia and Herzegovina

Album: UNESCO: Representative List of the Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity

Genre: Sevdalinka

The song had the pacing of a pot lid forever rolling in circles but never settling, accompanied by a soft folk voice that sounded almost chant-like.

"Definitely no," Wayne said and hit Random again.

Song: Whenever You Need Me (Original Hardcore Mix)

Artist: Force & Jack Speed Featuring Lisa Abbott

Album: Whenever You Need Me

Genre: Happy Hardcore

A heavy electronic club tune blared to life with a consistent, powerful repetition of a fast beat. Wayne hit Random again almost immediately.

Song: Lawdy Miss Clawdy

Artist: Johnny Delvin

Album: 24 Original Golden Greats

Genre: Kiwi Rock

A bouncy track with the gentle crackle of a 1960s recording and a singer with a voice like Elvis, but not quite, came to life.

Wayne could live with that.

Walking the Water Temple by himself was much different from traveling with a party. He took for granted how even the small noises of a group–the shift of their bags, their boot leather scraping softly stone, and even the odd throat clearing–made him feel less alone. Now, he heard only his own breathing and the movement of water. And whatever track Random chose to play for him.

Even at a jog, his progress felt slow and the hallways felt endless, but he kept his music playing, hoping Vanilli would appear and offer a shortcut.

When he took the stairs down to the second floor, he tested a theory and activated Periscope.

A window appeared in his HUD, showing an empty hallway in the Water Temple. Wayne thought about rotating it and found that he could. With Periscope, Wayne could get a sneak preview of what was on the floor above him before using Rise. That could have all kinds of applications, from safely planning escapes to spying on enemies.

He would need to test this again with someone watching, though. He wasn't sure if an actual periscope emerged from the floor and looked around or if it was an invisible camera of sorts.

Wayne stopped a few times for water and once to nap, but otherwise, his pace was steady.

He descended all the way to the bottom floor without seeing the demon, in person or as a dot on his HUD. He reached the sixth floor closet, as Vanilli described it, and sat next to the hatch in the corner. Wayne knew it was there but had no easy way of opening it. He could likely puzzle a combination out with trial and error, slapping stones roughly where he remembered the script being around other hatches, but he wouldn't do that. This was Vanilli's home. It was up to him to answer the door.

Or not.

Unsure if music would carry through the stone floor to Vanilli's apartment below, Wayne tapped the hilt of his sword against the hatch, and kept tapping, and tapping, and tapping.

He was mostly asleep when the hatch opened, and he realized his arm still moved to knock again, like a process running automatically in the back of his mind.

"How long would you have done that?" Vanilli asked, his head poking through the hatch.

"I don't even know how long I've been doing it so far," Wayne said.

Vanilli narrowed his eyes. Their close proximity gave him a cyclopean look.

"I thought you were ignoring me."

"I didn't know you were here."

"Really? You don't have some sort of security or alert system in place?"

The demon sighed. "A security system to monitor all of the visitors I've never gotten in 900 years?"

Stolen story; please report.

"Alright, fair. I came to trade, if you're interested."

Vanilli waved for Wayne to follow and descended the ladder.

Nothing had changed in Vanilli's apartment, and Wayne realized it was silly to think something would have. He wasn't sure how to make small talk with a demon he once held hostage at sword point, so he set his rucksack down and removed one of the bottles of wine.

"Fergus thought you might like this since you liked the other bottle." Wayne held it out for Vanilli to take.

The demon hesitated but eventually relented. Wayne held out two wooden cups next. "Do I have to share?" Vanilli asked.

"You do not."

"Do you want a glass?"

Wayne said he did and continued unpacking. He set out the other bottle of wine and the six books he carried down for the occasion, arranging them neatly. When he looked up, he accepted a generous pour from Vanilli.

"I'm surprised you returned," the demon said. He sounded sincere.

"I hoped to be here sooner, to be honest. It took me more time than I wanted to get items together to trade."

"My understanding is that books are not so rare in this world."

Wayne smiled. "They aren't rare, but I got hung up a few times with other things. At any rate, I have a proposal I want to share. If I offered you a way to leave the Temple and safely live on the surface, would you take it?"

"I'd rather we do business and you leave to play mind games on someone else."

"I'm serious. We need a campmaster, and I bet you have far more knowledge about this Temple than I could scribble down in a few hours. If you'd like, you can travel with our group. We might be on the road for another year or two, but after that? Entirely up to you how you spend your time."

"A slave contract?"

Wayne should have expected a demon to assume a labor contract meant enslavement. "Employment."

"What's the difference?"

Suppressing his chuckle, Wayne answered, "I see why'd you ask that. I don't want to own or control you. Employment means the same wages and perks as everyone else traveling with us."

Vanilli slowly sipped his wine, taking the slightest of drinks and savoring every drop before returning for another. "But if I run, you activate our contract?"

"I think we're mixing up terms here. I'm not asking for a blood oath or some magic-powered agreement. If you run, you run."

"And I die."

"God, Vanilli, no. If you run, you're on your own. I'm not going to chase you down and drag you back in manacles. I'd be disappointed if you bailed on us, but as long as you aren't murdering people, you can live whatever life you want."

Vanilli didn't speak. He stared at Wayne.

"What?"

"Why play this game? Is it entertaining?"

Wayne finished his wine. He wished he had more. A lot more. "I am almost certain I can get you out of here, and I picked up an enchanted item that should disguise your identity. If everything works the way I hope it will, you get to live a human life like anyone else."

Wayne pulled the enchanted disguise necklace out of his pocket.

"If you put this on and think about how you want to appear, illusion magic will make it so."

"Or the chain is cursed and putting it around my neck binds me to your will."

Wayne sighed. He put the necklace on himself. "I'm thinking of an identity, but since you're in front of me, it won't activate, but if I…" Wayne stepped out into the access tunnels and came back in.

"My beautiful Paula?!" Vanilli said, rushing forward.

"It's me! It's Wayne."

Vanilli reached for Wayne's hands. "Your beauty knows no limits."

"Okay, that's enough of a demo." Wayne extricated himself from Vanilli's grip and removed the disguise. He offered the necklace to Vanilli.

The demon had the face and body language of a starving kitten, desperate for food but too scared to let a stranger near enough to provide it. He took the necklace, put it over his head, and went around the corner.

When he returned, Wayne rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Really?"

"Did it fail?"

It had not. If Milli was the name of one artist and Vanilli the name of the other, as the demon originally believed, he picked the Vanilli likeness. The demon was handsome with dark skin, and his long black braids cascaded down from his head, reaching beyond his shoulders.

And he was naked.

Wayne gave Vanilli a small camping mirror while he searched for the spare set of clothes he packed. They had ended up at the very bottom of the bag. He grumbled while unpacking every single item to get to them. That always happened to him, somehow.

"These are Hector's size, so they're a bit big. We can get you a better fit when we come to the next town."

Vanilli marveled at his new face. He didn't notice the clothes beneath his nose at first. "Your offer is genuine?"

Wayne repeated that it was.

"And what is it you expect from me?"

"Help us set up camp when we travel, and share what you've learned in your time here."

"That's it?"

"That's it. We plan to trace the path of the Heroes, so we'll see every continent eventually."

Vanilli touched his face, his wonder still strong. "I'll do it under one condition: I never want to go into another Temple or dungeon. I'll tell you what you want to know, but I've had my fill of living underground."

"Deal." Wayne offered his hand. Vanilli shook it and started to dress.

Wayne apologized that they wouldn't be able to take all of Vanilli's keepsakes but that was fine with Vanilli. A few hundred years of playing with the same toys was enough. He took his boombox, his cassettes, The Space Gamer magazine cover, and a few books. At the last moment, he grabbed the katana as well.

"Ready?"

"Yes."

Rise.

The pair appeared on an upper level of the ziggurat. Vanilli couldn't take his eyes off the stars.

Seeing the marvel on the demon's face made Wayne appreciate the stars anew for himself. He didn't quite have the depth of awe that overcame Vanilli, but being in its presence was nearly as good.

A conversation Wayne had with his brother once sprang to mind. They were at the zoo with his niece, and she was transfixed by an elephant. The animal was near the glass, so she had to lean back to take in the entire view. How old was she then? Four, maybe? She had seen elephants in books and television shows, but seeing one with her own eyes, standing next to one, was an experience all its own.

His brother stood back, watching the moment. He said that was one of the best parts of being a dad. She was an ever-present reminder that the world was full of wonders, from elephants to buttercup flowers, from a magician's sleight of hand to the trash compactor in a garbage truck. It was all magical to her. He liked getting a taste of that magic through her.

Vanilli wasn't Wayne's niece, but from here on, the demon would see everything with fresh eyes.

The demon hadn't yet looked down at the beauty of an open field bathed in moonlight. He hadn't taken the time to hear the ocean beating against the rocks or to inhale the smell of the spray it kicked up. And Sammy's barbecue wafted on top of all of it. A whole new world of tastes and textures awaited Vanilli too.

"I'm sorry," Vanilli said, remembering himself. "Didn't mean to make you wait."

"You're fine. I'm in no hurry."

"Is that the party?" Vanilli pointed to the small orange glow far below.

Wayne said that it was.

"They're okay traveling with a demon?"

"It was a unanimous vote."

"Vote?"

Wayne nodded. "Fergus pointed out that you appreciated the finer things, were adept at wringing the most comfort from every object in your possession, and you're more like us than any other party member we're likely to find."

"Like you?"

"We're all not supposed to be here, in this way. Somehow, we've ended up outside the rules that usually govern this world."

Vanilli reached to rub his head but got his hand stuck in his new hair. That took him a few tugs to realize, and when he did, he sighed at his own embarrassment and dropped his arm back to his side. "That's an odd basis for friendship."

"I think of it more like a good excuse to find other things we have in common. One of my best friends in my old world? We met because we got doublebooked for restaurant reservations. We ended up sharing the table, like a blind double date, and found out we had the same hobbies."

Wayne laughed to himself, remembering how much fun the girls with them didn't have because of that unexpected connection. They didn't enjoy a lengthy discussion on the gradual improvements of anime dubs and translations between the Limewire era and the present. The boys did, though.

"You like music, right?" Wayne asked.

Vanilli nodded.

BGM Music: Random.

Song: El Corrido de Anza

Artist: Juan Bautista de Anza National Historic Trail, Los Cenzontles

Album: [Single]

Genre: Corrido

"Okay, maybe not the best example."

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