"Can I come in?"

Alarion gave no more answer to Elena's question than he had the three knocks that had preceded it. His focus was on the satchel open on the bed before him. It was a small thing, bulging with a few changes of clothing, his toiletries, and essentials. He had packed most of his other valuables neatly to the side—his greatsword and mace, his blackstone bracer, and the various other magical items he had collected.

It spoke volumes about who he was becoming that his most valuable possessions were used for killing.

"Alarion… can I com-"

"Do I have a choice?" he snapped over his shoulder. "About any of this?"

Elena let out a quiet sigh.

"Some. I have as much choice in your induction as you do. But if you want me to go, I will go." There was a pause as she waited for a reply. When none was forthcoming, she added, "I did not want you to leave on bad terms."

Those words earned a laugh from Alarion, though it was a bitter, hollow thing. "Too late."

"Alarion…" Elena sighed again. "You had to know there would be consequences for lying."

Alarion shoved a sheathed dagger into his bag with enough force to make the bed beneath it groan in protest. He picked up another and studied it between his fingers, his back still to Elena as he formulated a response.

"I did not lie. You assumed I would obey. You never even asked." Alarion's voice was soft as he unsheathed the throwing dagger and rolled it between his fingers. "I did not even have to come back."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"The specifics are… fuzzy. But they gave me a choice. I could have gone anywhere. Left from any dungeon. But I came back." He sheathed the weapon and tossed it into his bag. "Stupid."

"Far from it." The click of Elena's heels filled the bedroom as she came closer. "If you had fled, we would have found you. The empire does not bother with every deserter, but you? Dar would have hunted you for pride if nothing else."

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"So, there was never a choice." Contrary to Elena's intention, Alarion's expression soured even further at the news. "Did you think that would make me feel better?"

"Only the strong get to choose," Elena said with the cadence of a well-rehearsed idiom. Her gloved hand touched his shoulder. "For what it is worth, I am sor-"

"Stop." Alarion shrugged off her hand as if it had scorched him. "Stop making excuses. For your people. For your husband. You are strong! Why not choose to change things, to stop him? You said you would keep me safe!"

Elena stood stone silent for a moment. Then she tugged off one of her gloves. The flesh beneath was scarred and warped by fire, her index finger missing up to the first knuckle.

"Did you think you were the only one he punished for your actions?" she asked, pulling the glove back on as though disgusted with herself for revealing the infirmity. "I tried to soothe his anger. I have tried to push for reforms. You need to understand that strength is relative. I am stronger than you, but I am still weak. And not just in level or rank. Political power. Economic power. Arcane power. Military power. I want to help you, Alarion. Mothers willing, one day you will protect me, but you cannot be this reckless and naïve!"

"I…" Alarion began, but words escaped him as he stared at her gloved hands. His own balled into fists, his breathing coming quicker, his face flushing red. Then a horrible thought occurred. "Is he going to hurt Sierra?"

"No. He will punish her, I am sure. But nothing so vulgar as violence. Her father is too well-respected, too powerful." Elena frowned, "Sending Sierra in to fetch you was provocation enough; he can ill afford anything worse."

"Her family name is Feln, right? You think her fath-"

"Hush, child. You should not even whisper such things openly. My husband has enough reasons to be angry with you."

The mention of Dar caused Alarion's anger to flare once more. He wanted to hurt him. To break him. To make him feel small. It would likely be decades before he would be strong enough, but Alarion was nothing if not single-minded.

"I am sorry," he said at last, "for your…. for everything. I had to stay. But I am sorry."

Elena laughed. "I came to clear the air, to apologize to you, and somehow you are asking for forgiveness? No… all of this is messy. We do what we can with what we have. I understand why you stayed. Some part of me is even glad you did. I just… I wish the circumstances had been different. For all of this."

There was a sadness in Elena's posture as she reached out to ruffle a hand through his messy white hair. She pulled him into an embrace and gave one last sigh. "I will be there in the morning for your departure. It would not be proper to seek you out during your term, but I will write and send what I can."

Alarion blinked a few times and rubbed moisture away from one eye as they parted.

"You are a good boy. Alarion. I am sorry I am such a poor substitute for what you have lost."

With those words, she turned and walked away.

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