Chapter 598: I might just cry

Translator: imperfectluck  Editor: Kurisu

Question: What to do if members of your harem start a yuri relationship with each other?

Answer: Eat pasta. [TL note: This is a wordplay joke that’s untranslatable and doesn’t work so well in English.]

Seiji already had a certain amount of mental preparation for this topic since he knew beforehand that she was bisexual. However, it happening for real still made him feel rather strange.

“Mika, what exactly happened?” He wanted to hear the truth from the more serious girl.

“Chiaki and I had some passionate kissing,” Mika replied calmly.

“You… are you alright with that?”

“It felt surprisingly nice.”

Was this like ordering a strange flavor of ramen noodles but finding out to one’s surprise that it tasted pretty good? Seiji couldn’t help but wonder in his mind.

“It’s fine as long as you can accept it. As for Chiaki… just know how to restrain yourself.”

“See, Mika? I told you that Seiji wouldn’t mind.” Chiaki smiled.

“It’s not that I don’t mind at all, but if that’s what both of you want, I can only accept.” Seiji sighed.

Mika looked directly at him.

“If we were being serious just now and really did want to break up with you, what would you do, Seiji?” She repeated Chiaki’s earlier question.

Seiji fell silent for a moment.

“If you were really being serious, I’d feel quite complex about it… I might just cry.”

“Cry?”

“Yeah. If both of you broke up with me at the same time, I think I might just cry.” Seiji smiled faintly.

He had wanted to smile relaxedly, but showed off a wan smile instead.

Mika received an impact from seeing his expression. Chiaki’s expression froze as well.

“Both of you are really important to me. I’m unable to smile if you break up with me… it might even take me a long time to tell you that I wish both of you well.” He tried imagining it for a little but didn’t dare to imagine it any more.

“Seiji!!” Chiaki suddenly spoke up very loudly.

Seiji was startled by this. “What is it?”

“Don’t say any more…” Chiaki went up to and hugged him from the front. “I’m sorry.”

“Eh?” Seiji was rather confused by this.

Why was she suddenly apologizing?

Just as he was confused, Mika approached him as well and hugged him from behind. “I’m sorry…”

“You… what exactly is going on with both of you?” It was a wonderful thing to be simultaneously hugged by two beautiful girls, but Seiji wasn’t in the mood to enjoy it right now. He was still in utter confusion.

“I won’t casually talk about breaking up anymore,” Chiaki told him softly. “Please forgive me, Seiji.”

“The same for me… I won’t mention it again. Please forgive me,” Mika told him as well.

“I wasn’t blaming either of you.” Seiji blinked in surprise. “With my own actions, I couldn’t possibly blame either of you if you wanted to break up with me. Wanting to break up or not is your freedom. After all, a harem is unfair to you to begin with. I’ll accept it if either of you wanted to leave me at any time.”

As he said this, something got stuck in his throat.

His chest started feeling heavy, as sad emotions rose up within him.

His sight became unclear as warm tears slowly started dripping out of his eyes.

What was going on with him?

“Seiji… I’m sorry, I’m really sorry!” Seeing him cry, Chiaki apologized once again. “I shouldn’t have joked around like that. I’ll truly self-reflect on my actions, I swear…”

Seeing the tomboy have such a regretful expression, Seiji really wanted to say that it wasn’t necessary, that she wasn’t in the wrong at all. But, a mysterious sense of deep sorrow filled his heart.

Being in pain like this and crying made him feel like he was a little kid! He did his best to restrain his own emotions and to show off his typical smile.

“Don’t need to be like that, Chiaki… I’m the one in the wrong here…”

He wanted to smile brightly, but he couldn’t control his own emotions. In the end, he only revealed a sad smile. Nor was he able to stop his tears.

“Don’t say any more, Seiji.” Mika hugged him even tighter. “It’s my fault, I’m sorry… let’s stop talking about this.”

‘Neither of you are in the wrong… perhaps something could be said about your actions, but you’re not in the wrong at all.’ That was what Seiji thought.

But, the mysterious emotions within himself prevented him from speaking properly, as tears uncontrollably flowed forth from him.

“Why… I clearly… didn’t want to cry…”

Breaking up was something truly difficult for him to accept. Still, he knew that they weren’t being serious, that they were only saying what if.

…Really?

A tiny voice deep inside his heart asked him that question.

‘Something like breaking up shouldn’t be said so easily as a joke.

‘Being able to casually say it might mean that they don’t view this relationship as important at all.

‘Perhaps this entire harem is nothing more than your own disgusting otaku fantasies! Maybe none of them are being serious at all, they’re only playing around and toying with you!!

‘Someone as scummy as you could never obtain a girl’s true love!!!’

These severe words coming from deep inside his heart shook Seiji to the core.

Right after that, an unstoppable torrent of sadness just about washed away his ability to think!

“Wahh… I… in the end…”

He was so sad and in such pain.

He had such a fulfilling life, with plenty of material objects, and was loved by beautiful girls… Perhaps all of this was just fake.

‘Because I don’t have the right to lead such a beautiful life.

‘Because I’m just a…’

…

‘So what!?’

Right before his thoughts reached the level of depression swallowed up in the darkness, Seiji suddenly struggled and regained his spirit.

‘So what if it’s all fake!?

‘This type of beautiful life is bliss to me!

‘I’ll believe until the very end! Even if the final outcome is a tragedy that I can’t change, I’ll still accept it and properly face things head on!

‘That’s because the greatest miracle of all is that I’m still alive here!!’

With his powerful belief, Seiji leaped over the sudden wave of sadness and slowly regained his senses.

He then noticed that Chiaki and Mika were both really worried about him and blaming themselves.

Seiji did his best to smile normally at them.

“You don’t need to be like this… this is my own problem,” he told them gently.

He felt that it was truly unseemly for him to have been so shaken over such a small matter.

“Seiji…” Something glistened in both Chiaki and Mika’s eyes.

“I’m sorry… for showing both of you such an unseemly sight.” Seiji wiped away his tears. “I… probably, somewhere deep in my heart, I’m still feeling quite anxious. …Is it really alright for me to start a harem? Can this type of relationship that’s really unfair to all of you be successfully maintained? Unconsciously, I think I’ve always had my doubts. I like all of you and want to be together with everyone. But, inside my heart, I’ve always been afraid… afraid that you’ll be disappointed in me and choose to leave me. In the end, I lack self-confidence… I find it difficult to believe that I can truly give you the fortunate lives that you deserve. After all, I’m only an otaku. Pretending to be a handsome womanizer has its limits for me.” Seiji revealed a deeply wry smile.

Mika and Chiaki couldn’t find anything to say to his little speech.

“But… I don’t regret anything.” Seiji looked directly at them and spoke sincerely, “No matter how anxious or afraid I am, I want to try my best to the very end. I want to always be together forever with you. That’s the most important feeling inside my heart. Even if, someday… what I’m afraid of really happens, I’ll still…”

At this moment, he stopped speaking because his mouth had been gagged.

Chiaki had blocked him from saying any more with a kiss!

“Ahn…”

A soft… warm… Seiji tasted gentleness from this kiss.

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