"There was an old couple when I visited the church often in the past who often talked to me. It surprised me when I learned that they naturally met and fell in love with each other. Both were members of the elite. Back then, I didn't understand; they will decide the person we. My parents taught me that."
"After hearing that talk, did you have a candidate in mind?"
"I did actually; it was somebody I knew as a child. We got along greatly like close siblings. But there was nothing romantic. I just thought he would make a nice partner since there would be no complicated emotions involved." Sumire trailed off. "But because of my position, I refrained from even proposing the idea."
"You were right in doing so; as elites, we may live a decent life. We do not have to worry about money or food or even prestige."
"We do not have to worry about food. I remember thinking how grateful I was for that. But, I didn't do anything to earn the food that landed on my plates every evening. So it made me feel strange. It was the same as receiving gifts. I received jewels of the highest quality, but again I did nothing to receive it."
Soujiro turned quiet for a few seconds before he grabbed hold of her hand. Ah?
"Forgive me if I ramble."
"That is okay; you seldom talk so much. I would find it pleasant if you spoke more."
'But it would also trouble me. He most likely knew that otherwise, he would not apologize.'
The person who knows her the best is not Tsueno Mamoru or even Terashima Yuhi; it is this person. When her parents picked out her fiance for her, she did not question it.
'There is nothing I can decide for myself. I am a doll.'
She went along with it. "When we first met, I pulled this expression that said it doesn't matter what we thought of each other."
"Mm, it was very unpleasant."
"Back then, I thought I simply wanted to get things over with. Earlier that day, I had a quarrel with my older brother. He was spouting some nonsense how you were not worthy of being my fiance."
Sumire blinked, surprised at his words. "Are you admitting that you got mad for my sake?"
"That appears to be the case." Soujiro trailed off. "I did not understand what had gotten into me. But before I knew what I was doing, I was arguing for your sake like a fool. We had not met yet, at least officially, but I was adamant about defending you."
"I see, so when we met, you were simply irritated. It was not as though you disliked me."
"To be truthful, I felt nothing regarding the engagement. It was just one of my duties, one of the things my family decided for me."
"I thought the same."
It didn't matter to her because she was having a hard time figuring out her own emotional state back then. She was struggling to maintain the facade as a member of the elite circle. She didn't have any emotions, so it was easy to pretend, but occasionally she would slip up.
During those times, her brother would tell her that there was nothing she could decide for herself.
'With no desires, it is best to just do as you are told.'
It was simple, and yet despite having no ambition, she could not agree with those words. But after she met Soujiro, that changed. Perhaps it was due to his cold and indifferent nature, but she often found herself acting like a cheerful person in front of him.
Her efforts did not go to waste because she would occasionally see a rare smile on his face.
Her thoughts broke off when she sneezed several times in a row. Soujiro frowned and extended his hand out towards her forehead.
"I believe you have a fever." Those were the last words she heard him say when she felt her consciousness fade.
...
When she woke up, she discovered that she had her head on Soujiro's lap. Sumire became frantic and tried to sit up, but her vision still felt blurry.
Soujiro sighed. "I will not take advantage of you, so please rest assured."
Her sweat fell at those words. "I am surprised you knew what I was thinking."
"I have learned your habits by now."
'Even though we were apart for so long?.' Then again, after their first meeting, they spent awfully a lot of time with each other. Even though she was only a mere child, he still entertained her with the news she wanted.
"It is the same for me. I understand by now that you do not have any lecherous thoughts."
"Hah, if I were to entertain such things for a moment, I believe you would not come to see me as you have."
"So, does that mean your acting virtuous so I would see you more?"
"Perhaps."
'What an interesting person. I thought that back when I was a child, but now I am grown up, that thought hasn't changed.' Sumire didn't speak for a while. Her entire body felt like it was burning, and she barely had any strength to move. Perhaps she has been pushing herself too much recently.
If she thought about her recent events, that TV program, the handshake event, and the several other events after. What she felt was not physical exhaustion but mentally.
Hino, who has now turned into her manager, is taking her career very seriously. It surprised her how much effort he was putting into it, considering how it was not his idea. But while it wasn't his idea, it was Yuhi's. It is only normal considering their relationship.
Her thoughts broke when she felt Soujiro comb her hair with his fingers. Something was soothing about it. From the corner of her eye, she noticed Soujiro was reading documents in one hand.
"If you overwork, you will end up like me," Sumire mumbled.
"It seems you have changed since we last met; you now acknowledge your careless behavior."
"I have to put in more effort than before; otherwise, I won't be able to return to the stage."
"You put up a good front in front of Terashima, but the reality, you are still afraid."
"I feel like I have resolved myself to a certain extent. But," Sumire trailed off as she closed her eyes. "- occasionally, I would see images of the past. Just when I am about to make a firm decision, I would see those images and hear those voices telling me, 'Remember your sin.' Ru is alive now, and I confirmed that with my own eyes. But it does not erase my guilt. I wronged him; from the start, I should not have accepted his hand."
If she didn't date him, the accident would not have happened if she didn't say yes.
"So you must have learned the reason."
"According to Sano, the enemy leader has a strange fascination towards me. He has been watching me for a long time.. It seems Ru's presence by my side was a problem for him."
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