Chapter 552 Visiting Shen Shui　　For a moment Su Wan wanted to confess everything, she wanted to tell them that she wasn’t the Su Wan they all loved and adored. The Su Wan they knew was already dead but when she looked at their happy faces that were filled with happiness and excitement of celebrating another year with their niece. 

She couldn’t bring herself to say it, it felt wrong to take the love that belonged to the original Su Wan but she would rather be selfish and keep this love to herself than crust their hearts until they could no longer feel anything.

She knew she was being selfish but how can she say the truth and break their hearts? Wasn’t it akin to killing these people who loved Su Wan dearly? 

Thus, she smiled and put forth a suggestion that she would have never thought of before, ” Why don’t we visit my mother’s grave today and bring everything that she loved to eat?”

Her mother might have been a crazy maniac but the original Su Wan’s mother was certainly a loving mother. She gave up her life to give birth to her daughter, if this would have happened to her mother, then she would have rather chosen to abort her as a fetus than put her life in danger. 

Su Wan knew that her mother was a selfish woman from start to finish and whoever said it otherwise was either blind or the same crazy maniacs as her mother.

Su Wan’s suggestion took everyone by surprise. They didn’t expect Su Wan to say something like this, they glanced at each other and Shen Zizhen was the first one to speak, ” Wan Wan, there is no need right? We can visit Shui Shui some other day. There is no need for you to go and visit her on your birthday.”

The suggestion was good but it was Su Wan’s birthday, so it wasn’t a good choice to head to the graveyard. 

Su Wan shook her head, she was able to celebrate this birthday because of Shen Shui’s sacrifice, it wouldn’t be good if she didn’t even do this much to respect Shen Shui.

” We should cherish the living and respect the ones who are gone,” said Su Wan as she peered down at the floor. In the past life, she never visited her mother’s grave, many people called her unfilial but Su Wan alone knew that the day the doctors declared her mother as dead, she took a breath of relief.

She was unfilial, to begin with, why would it matter to her if she was called unfilial? 

Back then she didn’t respect her mother because that woman wasn’t worthy of her respect but that wasn’t the case for Shen Shui.

Shen Zizhen and Shen Junxi glanced at each other and the two of them nodded their heads. Su Wan had already made up her mind, there was nothing they could do to change her mind. Now that the decision was already made then they might as well go according to her will.

The decision to go and visit Shen Shui’s grave was abrupt for others but Su Wan already knew in her mind that she wanted to visit Shen Shui’s grave from the very beginning. 

Or at least ever since her nightmares started to reoccur. 

In her dreams, Her mother would always say the same thing that she will understand her predicament once she became a mother. It both angered and worried her, on one hand, she wanted to become a mother and show it to her dead mother who was still haunting her and rub it in her face that she could be a better mother than her but then she was worried as well… What if she couldn’t become a good mother? 

She was her mother’s daughter, what if she did something that might hurt her child just like her mother did?

”If this was too difficult for you then you shouldn’t have agreed to go there in the first place,” said Lin Yan as he came to sit next to her, he has been working in the kitchen where he was busy cooking all the dishes that were Shen Shui’s favourite when she was still alive. 

However, his mind was continuously focused on Su Wan. He knew how sensitive Su Wan was when it came to her mother, he was worried that her mood might be conflicted after all today wasn’t just Shen Shui’s death anniversary it was Su Wan’s mother’s anniversary too. 

Su Wan raised her head and looked at Lin Yan who came to sit beside her. She didn’t know why her mood was fluctuating like this, one second she was happy, then the next second she was sad. And there was also this urge to eat something cold like cold noodles. 

” It’s not that,” said Su Wan as she rubbed her forehead as the urge to eat something cold became more and more unbearable to bear. She suppressed that urge, after all, cold noodles can’t be prepared at the moment. ” I just don’t feel very good, and I was the one who gave the suggestion rather than them suggesting it. And like this is something that I should have done it the day I possessed this body since I am taking over then I should fulfil the responsibilities that belonged to Su Wan.”

What she didn’t say was that she just wanted to suppress the guilt that she was feeling in her heart..she was afraid to lose the love of her uncles and aunts, she knew that they didn’t belong to her and the more she kept them to themselves, the more she was afraid to lose them. 

Visiting Shen Shui’s grave was just her way to pay for this guilt that was weighing on her heart.

Lin Yan didn’t say anything, he only sat next to her and grasped her hand with his, Su Wan wasn’t happy, so of course, he wasn’t happy either. He really wanted to make her smile but this was something he wasn’t good at what he was good at was keeping someone company when they didn’t want to talk. 

Su Wan leaned her head against his shoulder, she was indeed not in the mood to speak with anyone, what she wanted was to be left alone in solace. But when Lin Yan sat next to her without saying anything, she didn’t push him away.

The two of them stayed next to each other until a sudden knock resounded on the door and both of them jolted at the sound that disturbed them. 

” There you are!” said Lin Rui with a graceful smile as he walked inside the room with a gift package in his hands.  He glanced at Lin Yan sourly glaring at him in blame, this second brother of his was really good. He found out that Su Wan wasn’t feeling good and immediately came to take advantage of it.

Then he turned his gaze away from his second brother and looked at Su Wan with a beaming smile before handing the package into his hands. ” This is something that I looked for a very long time, I finally found it. Take a look and see if you like it or not?”

Su Wan took the package from Lin Rui’s hands and opened it. Lin Yan who was sitting next to her also peered inside, and Lin Rui who saw it, felt his lips twitch.  Why was his second brother looking inside the package? This wasn’t his gift! 

However, Lin Yan wasn’t at all shy about peering into someone else’s gift. He was even blatant about it—

Once the package was opened, a shiny new headdress was inside it.  It was made with pearls and looked really pretty with all the shiny accessories that were attached to it. The headdress was more or less similar to a modern tiara just a bit on the heavier side but compared to the ones that were sold in the town, this one was really small and light. 

And Su Wan liked it a lot. The accessories that she had were all on the heavier side and she never really wore them. 

” I like it,” said Su Wan it was really amazing that her husbands were able to figure her out so soon. They paid attention to everything that was related to her and brought her things that she loved instead of bringing anything. 

Lin Rui smiled as he glanced at Lin Yan with a smug expression but just as he turned to look at his second brother the latter was already looking at him smugly. 

What? What was this — does it mean that his second brother had brought a gift that was nicer than his? If so then wouldn’t it be troublesome for him? 

What if Su Wan liked second brother’s gift more? 

Damn! If he knew that his second brother’s gift was better then he wouldn’t have given his gift to Su Wan first. 

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