Su Wan didn't pursue the matter and Lin Yan thought that she managed the entire thing really well. He thought that maybe he fooled her or maybe he was able to dodge the bullet but that was until he woke up screaming hours later on his bed like he was being chased by a beast. His nightmares. Except there was no beast but Luo Xin. 

Rigidly, he sat up straight in his bed. Despite the cold weather, he was sweating buckets of ice-cold sweat. As the remnants of his dream danced in front of his eyes like a vicious demon, taunting him for being too weak, for being too despicable as to keep Su Wan by his side when he clearly didn't have the right to. He tried to shove off his memories, tried to calm his heart repeatedly telling himself that he wasn't at the Fu estate and Luo Xin wasn't in his room.

But the threatening letter that he received last night was starting to get to him already.

He dreamed of Luo Xin, that she trapped him again like she did years before - alone and helpless. " you belong to me" she had whispered in his ears while licking his cheek with that horrible weathering tongue of hers " and tonight I'm going to show you just that" 

That was the last thing he had heard before he stabbed her in the shoulder and ran away. She had bruised and left him bloody after an hour of whipping but the thought of such a monster touching him alone was enough to make his entire body burn with a need to escape for his life despite the blood dripping down his wounds.

He didn't have to be a genius to know what would have happened if didn't stab and run - she would have ra*ed him. 

He heaved, trying to catch his breath. His heart was thumping so wildly in his chest that Lin Yan was sure it was going to burst out of his body, he could feel bile rising up his throat and his head was getting dizzy with each passing second as he tried to grasp on the reality and wrench his mind out of his nightmare. 

Everything - Everything was so fucked up. Luo Xin, her letters, his memories started to swim in front of his eyes. And for the second time in his life, Lin Yan felt as if he had no control over his own life. Like his own life didn't belong to him but someone else, frustrated he grabbed the teapot next to his bed and flung it against the wall watching it shatter into pieces just like him. 

And then he screamed again, not out of fear but irritation. Why? Why won't she just leave him alone? Was it because of his face? Then should he destroy his face? Burn it? Scar it? 

" Damn it!" why was it that he was still thinking about harming himself instead of hurting the one who was the cause of it? 

Because you can't touch her, sneered a voice in his head. Of course, he couldn't touch her, she was different from him, she was rich, privileged and protected. He couldn't barge in her house and ruin her life as she did to his, unlike her who could stand outside of his house or send someone to do her dirty bidding, Lin Yan had no such privilege. Because he was poor while she was not - fucking privilege of being rich! 

If Luo Xin wanted she could ruin him, his family and his wife. She could easily overpower him by either kidnapping him or threatening him with the life of his loved ones. 

Easily. So fucking easily.  And he can't do anything against her...

Lin Yan covered his face and was thinking about whether to shed his pretences and cry like a baby when there was a knock on his door.  He jumped, staring at his own door like it was a demon before he scampered around the room like a mouse trying to look for anything to fight against his predator. He winced, cursing himself for being too much of a wimp, his younger brothers were a hundred times better than him, they could scheme but would never be schemed against and even if they got schemed against, they were powerful enough to subdue the culprit but him - heh, not only his face was girly, even his strength was more girly than a girl! 

The chance of the person outside his door being someone sent by Luo Xin was fairly high...he looked around but then he realised that he was too stupid. He didn't hide a weapon to protect himself, he was just contemplating whether he should break his beloved tea table to make a weapon for self-defence. 

When he heard Su Wan's voice. 

" Yan are you in there?"

Was that really Su Wan or someone war impersonating her voice?

" Yan are you in there? Open the door!" well that sounded like Su Wan but what was she doing standing in front of his door so late at night? Only then did he realise that maybe he wasn't able to fool Su Wan as well as thought he did. 

" YAN!" shouted Su Wan though her voice was still low as if she was afraid to wake others up " you better open the door or I will come inside on my own"

Lin Yan stiffened, he looked at his reflection in the water jug kept on his tea table, he looked pale, his lips were trembling and yea he looked like he was a clammy piece of scaredy work, nope not gonna see his wife when he was like this," I'm fine, go back and sleep " dear lord was this his own voice? He sounded like he was having a bad cold! It was that shallow and weak. So he cleared his throat and in a very bad acting of a tough guy he shouted " I am fine, you can go back " 

How can Su Wan go back? If she went back then she wouldn't be Su Wan! 

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