Magicapita

Chapter 221: Unyielding Cæ


Cæ's heavy eyes closed the very moment he hit his bed, collapsing into sleep almost immediately after, how exhausted he was since morning. Less than half a day had passed, and yet he was already beyond exhausted with everything that had unfolded.

More than the physical exhaustion from the Capture the Flag match they had had, Miranda's murder attempt, and the chain of events that had unfolded since then were what truly drained him of his energy. He quickly tore his athletic uniform, swiftly changing into a more comfortable pair of shorts, before crashing into his bed. His consciousness submerged into sleep within a minute.

Only to find himself in a dream of his own fantasies.

A dream that drew from the happiest few years of what was otherwise a miserable life.

When he opened his eyes, he found himself in their old apartment.

A white ceiling that had undergone some discoloration from rainwater seeping into the room with the heavy Elendir monsoons each year. A light floral smell drifted past him, along with a strangely attractive sense of sweat and sex.

He found himself next to her.

Her curly brown hair and olive skin were just as beautiful as he remembered, while her luscious sea green eyes sparkled with a hint of delight at seeing him, just as they did when she was alive.

"This again?" she huffed lightly, shaking her head. "You need to stop summoning from the dead. It's rather annoying for you to summon my soul from eternal sleep. How would you feel if someone woke you up from your sleep?"

Cæ laughed for the first time in two years.

A simple, yet pure, mirthful bout of laughter exited him as he felt a surge of relief and a kind of joy that he hadn't felt in a long, long time.

It was the way that only Lilia could make him laugh.

He found it amusing that even the figment of his imagination that he had of her had such a fun sense of humor, exactly as she had in real life. His subconscious mind accurately portrayed the kind of things that she would say, pretending to be the soul of the real Lilia, who was in eternal sleep until Cæ woke him up.

It reminded him of how she was.

She gazed at him with knowing eyes. "…You need to stop doing that, Cæ."

Her expression grew more solemn.

"I'm dead."

His demeanor grew severe.

"I know that painfully well, Lilia."

"There's no point in obsessing over someone who's been dead for two years, Cæ…" She gazed at him with a serious expression. "You're still very young. You have enough time in the world to meet somebody new. To find another partner. To build another relationship and start a family. If the real me could come back to life and tell you anything, it would be to tell you that I would much rather see you move on with someone else than to mope around your whole life over a dead person."

Cæ's eyes grew severe.

"You make it sound so easy."

"It is easy," she insisted with a bold tone. "If you truly wanted it, you would have gotten it by now. But you don't want it. I am a figment of your imagination, so I know. It's not your grief and misery that is stopping you from finding happiness; it is your hatred and rage that is impeding you."

"You're damn right they are." A glint of anger entered his voice as he gazed at her with sharp eyes. "I'm supposed to just move on after everything this world has done to me? When the man who killed you and ruined my life is still out there, growing richer and more powerful with every second?"

His stormy gray eyes flared with rage and hatred.

"No. Never. I will spill his blood. I will spill his blood on the streets just like he did yours."

"It's not about me." She glared at him. "The dead don't suffer. The only person who is suffering is you, and you choose to make your suffering even worse by pursuing an impossible dream that cannot be achieved. One that you would feel miserable in even if you did succeed, which is not going to happen."

"If you truly believed that, then you wouldn't have been the activist and social worker that you were," Cæ remarked with a nostalgic tone. "You spent how many hours fighting for the less fortunate? If what I'm trying to do is impossible, then why would you work that hard?"

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"Because contributing, no matter how minuscule and insignificant, made me feel fulfilled," she replied. "And a little good is still better than nothing. You, on the other hand, want to burn the world you hate, even if you burn yourself. They're not remotely comparable. If you truly found meaning and purpose to sustain you with this insane goal of yours, it would be one thing. But, to the contrary, it's going to destroy you rather than sustain you."

Cæ remained silent, heaving a deep breath.

"I'm not you. I don't drop grudges easily. You know that. And this grudge… this grudge has been building my entire life."

His eyes flared with a fearsome rage and hatred.

"I can't let it go. Even if I wanted to, I can't."

Her smile grew bittersweet.

"I know. I hope that… you forget this obsession one day and live a normal, meaningful, and purposeful life. But if not, then I hope you at least find someone who can walk with you on your path."

His gray eyes narrowed with a hint of melancholy.

"I don't think that is ever happening."

He gazed deep into her sea-green eyes.

"Because I'm still in love with you."

She gazed at him, heaving a deep breath. "Well, I'm not. Since I'm dead. Also, someone is ringing your bell. You should wake up."

He opened his eyes in his bed in his dormitory room, as the briefest of smiles emerged on his face for just a moment.

"As blunt and abrupt as ever."

DING DONG

He turned to the door, getting up and walking over to it.

CLACK

The door opened as he found himself staring at Serulia.

Her eyes widened as she stared at his muscular upper body and the scars that ran across his torso and neck, courtesy of the wounds he had sustained in the crash that took Lila's life and put him in a coma for half a year.

Serulia was stunned silent, her mouth falling open as she simply stared at his body.

"You seem to be doing better."

Cæ's tone was calm, breaking the silence between them as he glanced out the window at the far end of the corridor.

The twilight sky had already grown darker.

He frowned.

He felt like he had barely slept for five minutes.

When the hell did so much time pass?

"So do you…" Serulia replied, drawing his attention.

"Hm?" he raised an eyebrow, turning back to her.

"Um…!" She shook her head with an embarrassed expression at the candid words that escaped her mouth before she could even notice. "Nothing… I just… wanted to speak with you."

Cæ gazed into the depths of her intent blue eyes, heaving a soft breath. "Come inside."

She had already been in his room multiple times over the past few days, and after their match. She entered, inspecting his room once more with a renewed sense of curiosity and interest she didn't have the last few times.

"Have a seat," Cæ remarked, closing the door behind her as he headed to the little kitchen in the dorm room. "I'll prepare some cochil for you too."

She sniffed the air. "Smells like soapy sweat again."

"I haven't had the opportunity to shower yet," he replied as he poured some ground and roasted cochil bean powder into two cups while boiling some water. "I was too tired to do anything other than crash."

"Understandable," she replied with a tone of respect. "I think you are brave… for taking it so well. You know your life is in danger, but you seem entirely calm and composed."

Cæ's gaze shifted to her with a serious gaze. "Panicking about never helped in the past. You learn to take these with a measure of composure with some experience."

"…Experience with your life in danger?" she asked with a hint of sadness in her tone.

"Yes," he replied. "If you're going to become a magetant, it's a necessary quality for you."

"…That is true."

"You are handling knowing that you were almost murdered quite well yourself," Cæ remarked, gazing at her from the edge of his eye in his kitchen. "Most people your age would have experienced some trauma from that event."

"…I felt protected."

Her voice was soft.

Yet, her tone was sincere.

She gazed at him in a way that he hadn't seen her do so.

"…I'm glad you're not troubled by it," he replied tactfully, pouring two cups of cochil before taking it over to her and placing it on the table. "So… what did you want to talk about?"

She stirred in her seat, taking a sip from the cup, engrossed in some thought. She seemed uncomfortable about what she was about to bring up.

"I wanted to start by expressing my gratitude to you for saving me," she began with some sincerity. "I would be dead if not for you. I owe you an unpayable debt and… nothing I can say or do can express how grateful to you I am for being alive."

"You don't need to be that grateful, Serulia," Cæ remarked. "I could save you, I was confident of doing it and succeeding in those circumstances, and so did it. You don't need to feel like you owe me a permanent debt. You don't. Especially when I'm rather shamelessly blackmailing your father, essentially, into giving me money and becoming an investor in my business."

She seemed stunned by those words even as Cæ directed a knowing gaze at her.

"That's what this is about, isn't it?" he asked with a calm tone. "You want to know whether the reward was part of the motivation. You want to believe that I did out of friendship, but the way that I acted and the things that your family pointed out are giving you doubts, right?"

She hesitated for several moments before nodding reluctantly and lowering her gaze with a hint of guilt. "…I just am surprised that you were so prepared to… make the most of the situation so quickly. I am sorry for doubting you, and my gratitude is real, but…"

Her voice trailed off.

She tried framing it nicely, but she conveyed the message nonetheless.

"It's good that you're suspicious," Cæ replied with a calm tone. "You shouldn't buy people's stories so easily, especially the sob story of someone you met only ten days ago. We haven't been friends for very long, you know?"

She winced at those words, gazing at him with a hurt expression. "T-that is true, but…"

"Do you want the truth?" Cæ asked her straightforwardly with a nonchalant tone.

She clenched her hands into fists in a nervous manner, hesitating before nodding.

"The truth is I don't entirely know why I risked my life to save you," Cæ remarked. "I know I said I was confident, and that's not false. But the truth is that I have risked everything for you by provoking the Walyn Family with my testimony that could send Miranda to prison for decades. I made the decision on reflex. In a split second. The very final moment. I didn't have time to think about it, as I'm sure you yourself know how quickly it happened. I don't know if I would have made the same decision if I had the time to think about it. But I didn't, and I saved you before even I realized it."

He gazed deep into her eyes.

"That is the raw, unadulterated truth. Make of it what you will."

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